Exploring JOY

dangerous book for boys.

2010-12-05T16:09:00.000-08:00

probably the best beginning of any book ever... except for that i don't think it should be just for boys. it's for us all.

but a few from the plethera.

2010-11-30T22:48:00.000-08:00

these are my friends. and their dreams. their projects. their every day magic.
(don't be lazy... copy and paste the link. one more step but it's worth it. this old school blog site has mucho trouble embedding. or i can't figure it out... so maybe i'm the lazy one...)

http://www.thecookiechew.blogspot.com/

http://acontinualfeast.tumblr.com/archive

http://www.garrettandrew.com/Garrett_Andrews_Photo_Journal/Photo_Journal/Photo_Journal.html

http://curiosityandwonder.wordpress.com/

or then there's this... and i had the honor to play music with bryan and joel p. west at this one...
http://www.sezio.org/news/Slumber-Party-in-Wes-Bruces-Fort.aspx

also. a good friend of mine, sean sand, keeps a music blog... letting us into his sonic taste buds. the daily spin is rad.

http://mydailyspin.tumblr.com/

i love this community.

holiday.

2010-11-25T14:06:00.001-08:00

2 feelings i have never felt on thanksgiving. hunger. and quiet. it's odd, uncomfortable and sort of lovely.

sunrise.

2010-11-08T09:53:00.001-08:00

there are 32 pictures i have in a folder that i thought at some point were important enough to share, and maybe at some point they will be- the retrospect sorta be... but this particular picture is one that i won't be able to replicate for another long while. (because i don't plan on becoming a morning person. at least until some other human makes me wake to feed it) and with this exact combination of incredibly warm and beautiful people, probably never again...

i believe that part of why the sun it rises is to remind us to let every day be it's own. and to be well and breathe well and make well with others. and to let the moon take a nap.

it was a perfect day.

fall.

2010-10-24T16:03:00.000-07:00

you're projecting on me.

2010-10-18T17:08:00.000-07:00

don miller wrote an interesting article about the danger of projecting our identities. it's called "the danger of projecting our identities." it made me think about what my friends think of me and what my enemy thinks of me and what Jesus thinks of me. here are some nuggets i took from the article... but you can read the full length here. there's lots of gold on d. millers site. his blogs, his writers collective. plenty of strong voices talking about interesting things.

http://donmilleris.com/2010/10/15/the-danger-of-projecting-an-identity/

God, at heavens gate, is not going to look around to ask your church friends whether or not He should let you in. Religious leadership may want you to believe this, because, for the worse, they want to have control over you, and perhaps for the better though of no help, they want to trick you into being a good person, but either way their agency is false and has no power. If God looks at you and finds Christ, you’re fine, no matter what your friends say about you.

* * *

What’s sad about projecting an identity is our obsession with the process keeps us from discovering who we really are. We like certain things because we will be approved of if we do, not because something about how we were created responds to them. Who knows who I am, what I like, what moves me...

* * *

...And the next time you try to impress God with your worship, count it as heresy. He isn’t impressed. If you’re grateful for what He’s done, thank Him and try to help others. That’s all He asks. And even that is not required, or else grace would be conditional.

* * *

P.S. Projecting an identity that you are not projecting an identity is the same trap. A true security in Christ involves no projection at all, just honest living and a grateful heart. And nurses shoes.

End Quote.

Thanks Donald Miller for telling the truth and making me feel like a piece of poop.

Now I'm projecting a victim. We can't win...

But we can be grateful and move through the herd not expecting entitlement to the front.

the hideaway for amy

2010-09-06T18:41:00.000-07:00

dear love of ours,
the sunflowers have came and went.

our new excellent roomie katie bunker has graced us with various living room additives. merrily is incredible and brought home a ton of games. and look we organized them. she also got a box of narnianic battle knives. but i'll save that for another post.

kaley and merrily's wall is one of my favorite things to look at. ask merr about her upside down book shelf. also, kaleys farmer beau built her some planters with veggies planted inside as a gift to our back-frontyard. broccoli from our very own dirt.

jared and sophie had an incredible gypsy wedding in a field. ashley freese catered an incredible meal... we got to take home gourmet olives and cheeses. lots of cheeses. also, daisies in cans, popcorn kernels, and rosemary. they are all so great together. we are also mourning (with roses) the death of ready.set.go (good job kaley.) we miss amy to the rescue.

best worst week ever

2010-08-28T22:54:00.001-07:00

new roomies
old phone
new friends
for old times sake
miserable sunshine
icey showers
stolen purse
lesson learned
babies in forts
retirement parties
dinner dates
feet tans
ocean swimming
side walk chalk in a saved by the bell lunch box

back home from home

2010-07-31T16:11:00.000-07:00

my 36 in-consecutive day visit to the bay area is quickly coming to a close. i will miss my home. but i love my home in san diego with more of me that i can contain. heard it's been gloomy in san diego... for the last past ever... and coincidently... i love this song.

wrote this to a friend...

2010-07-29T00:24:00.000-07:00

but then realized i should share it with you all...

real gypsy artists taking real gypsy pictures of themselves traveling the world in real gypsy boats made out of... real gypsy junk. it's not for fake. it's for real

http://todseelie.com/serenissima/index.html

play.

2010-06-13T12:11:00.001-07:00

this past december me and my zack and zoe went on some adventures to some of my favorite places from when i was their age... king park in berkeley, that park up the hill by my old house in richmond, the now dilapidated cheese park, and peoples park off telegraph.

we hope it inspires you to do just that and play. live in color. visit old milestones. paint on garbage. etcetera etcetera.

there'll be more adventures this summer. of course.

home sweet home.

2010-06-12T12:56:00.000-07:00

in december when i was home for the holidays i took these and i completely forgot about them til now. i'll be home for part of my summer this year. hoping for friends to visit and hoping for good time with family. know both will happen. :)

Freedom and Obedience

2010-05-31T14:41:00.000-07:00

Don't we all obey something or someone?
Aren't we more free when we obey something bigger than us?
Why do we sometimes live as if submission to Love is the destruction of our liberty?

Lately.

2010-05-29T17:09:00.000-07:00

Lately...
I've become a fan of Steve Nash. Go game 6.
I've been eating more eggs.
I've been getting excited about summer time.
I've...
been dreaming up new ideas for life with my roomie/partner in communal crimes Kaley.
getting excited about tying up the final ribbons and bows on projects with brother and Bryan.

Carrying around a puppet called Blake Nelson the Second.
Watching Weeds.
Passing Statistics.

Learning the value of finishing the things you have started. Because they are good and it's a big step in one's character to follow through with excellence. It sounds so simple but it's so much more simple to talk about the grandiose plans for your future. It makes you feel all warm inside with blankets of epiphany and freshly polished rose tinted sun glasses. But... it's better to just do good things every day. And if you can't finish them in one day, then every day work towards finishing them.

My sunflowers are growing. They are growing because we took the seeds out of the little case they were sitting in and planted them in good soil. Then we came back to them every day and took care of them. And now they are beautiful and tall. No flowers yet... but I expect good things.

I have a book called the Daily God Book and every day it talks about Daily God things and my favorite thing I read from it this week said: Your response to something that happens is much more important than the something that happened.

My response to seeds is what makes flowers.
My response to road rage is what prevents car accidents.
My response to sunshine is being shiny and brown.
My response to hard work is what builds oppurtunity.
My response to summer is love.

That's all for now.

Oh, congratulations to all my friends who graduated college. I love you and look forward to building with you.

yeah!

2010-04-18T21:18:00.001-07:00

the whole shebang at the soda bar from Meaghan Maples on Vimeo.

this is the best art i have ever been apart of.

2010-04-11T10:47:00.001-07:00

ever.

The Case O' The Queso from Mr Hendricks on Vimeo.

happy birthday to me.

2010-04-09T22:43:00.000-07:00

Surrounded by good friends and family is the best place to be on your birthday. I'm 25 now. Woot woot.

It's almost time...

2010-04-03T12:27:00.000-07:00

I have been working on so much music this year. I'm excited to get the first round of it out of my system and into your ears! With the help of friends and my brother Nick, our e.p. "Legos is the family business" will be done in just over a month. Here have a song for free! :) Just highlight the link and well... you know.

http://meaghanmaples.bandcamp.com/

plog. (picture log)

2010-03-07T23:47:00.001-08:00

let's recap.

coming soon.

2010-03-06T10:59:00.000-08:00

there's a blog coming soon free of too many videos and full of witty tidbits and pleasant snap shots. this isn't it. for now i'd like you to take a gander at the music blog i got going because i'm wrappin' up the last details of the e.p. i've been working on since the first week of january. last night i took in some lovely talented friends of mine to help with vocals. so fun.

www.redyellowblueproject.blogspot.com

this blog has too many videos.

2010-01-08T13:54:00.001-08:00

dancing in the old year. from Meaghan Maples on Vimeo.

singing and cheer.

2009-12-21T23:09:00.000-08:00

walking in a winter wonderland... with my friends. from Meaghan Maples on Vimeo.

these are a few of my favorite things.

2009-12-21T01:13:00.000-08:00

-the anxiety and glee of preparing for my homeward bound journey
-all the creativity and conversation my typewriter has brought at a handful of parties, in homes, at twiggs... my beloved coffee shop
-iron and wine on pandora
-chewing on ice
-my knee working better... and physical therapy
-writing poems all the time. go team.
-talking about funny things with mom dad and brother
-funny messages from young relatives
-soy chai
-tea from peets
-15 minute rendezvous
-new friends cleverly disguised as nosy customers
-warm and funny concerts in the living room of wonderful san diego friends (family)

me and about 15 friends have decided to write a poem a day for 30 days of december. it is a project inspired by a dear friend and poet in san diego, gill sotu... google him. he's wonderful. in the meantime, here are some snippits of some of the fun work i've been doing with these rotating prompts and my typewriter.

i encourage you to make a list of your favorite things... and funny things... and things you'd like to do. and then things you will do.
these type of list making techniques remind me of all the intangible i've accumulated through out my life... all the things i sometimes take for granted. so as many of us get to rest for the next couple weeks or so... take time to breathe (really breathe) and take nothing for granted. cook something foreign or write a letter to a stranger. maybe catch up on undelivered thank you notes... or love notes if you're feeling ballsy. i'm gonna take pictures of all my childhood play grounds and do some arts and crafts with my nana.

be well...
stretch. eat vegetables. and chocolate. sit still.
be kind and patient.
slow to offense... pray for this.
i struggle with all of these things... duh.
but they're in my brain.

cheers.

love.

m

recap: because one day i'll care about these past times

2009-11-03T11:41:00.001-08:00

books i read this summer/fall:
-everything is illuminated: jonathan safran foer
-barbarian way and soul craving: erwin mcmanus
-sexgod and velvet elvis: rob bell
-if you want to write: brenda ueland
-searching for god knows what and a million miles in a thousand years: donald miller
-how to win the game of life: tom gegax (my nanny boss man)

music im listening to:
jay z: the blueprint 3
sondre lerche: heartbeat radio
david crowder: church music
riddle the roar: their new e.p.
q-tip: kamaal the abstract
ingrid michaelson: everybody
kim walker: random stuff by her

things i want:
for the space bar on my typewriter to work
for my busted knee to be fixed
a record player
my parents records
to throw a a great fakesgiving party
to put on a kick ass benefit show in the guys pool
to keep on with my regular bm's
a tape recorder for my melodic ideas
a rocket ship (for play only)
for andrews south korean dreams to come true

projects in purgatory:
legos is the family business
the picnic table project
the garden that's now dead (blast)

im grateful for:
when my feet aren't so cold
having 2 knees
hysterical roommates
when andrew channels a pirate
bread bowls
friends that are nice and generous
parentals
twiggs coffee house and all my gypsy coworkers
brother
70 and sunny all the freaking time
the change of seasons
pianos
the upright bass
naomi's dance moves
yerba mate tea
worship through music
youth group and all it entails
seinfeld
inside jokes
other stuff. much much more.

the fun theory.

2009-10-20T00:09:00.000-07:00

i love this.
i am also painting any stair case in any future home of mine to look like a piano.
this is great.

Piano stairs - Rolighetsteorin.se - The fun theory from camiseta emprestada on Vimeo.

my sunny disposition.

2009-09-24T11:58:00.000-07:00

i don't really have a schlep of poetic and prosey reasons why i'm in such a good place. i do have nuggets of joy and jungle jive that i've captured with my cellular device...

there are several moments every week when i just pause. selah. and sigh. so here we are... and here they are. and they still are.

take as much as you need and keep it simple. make it yours. love to live there.

she's on to her next venture in life, but she was hands down the cream of the bush street crop and she did leave behind this gift of love and labor. she had to take all these screws out by hand to get her own hawaiin imagery in there. what a lady. joy.

be creative all the time. if not every day. even thank you notes can get sticky paste on your fingers and there's nothing like that. using your imagination and expensive paper goods is medicine for the soul.

like where you work. and work hard at it. and if there's down time, name all the machinery. get to know your workplace and it's quirks and quibbles. the whole world will be better for it.

that's maui. and a piano. and the living room of my second workplace and favorite 2 year old naomi. she's made so much progress on the instrument too. and she learned how to say water. good times.

i bent down to restock water and ended up squatting for a good 32 seconds. things are still beautiful even behind bars. and your thighs will thank you for the stretch. {i wasn't in prison... just working... which maybe's grown up prison, depends how you're looking at it i suppose... the bars or the clouds in the sky?}

from right to left, these are my friends e-train (he's british and his mother land name is etienne) nicki, and rhythm on drums. go figure. they are lovely musicians who form a band called dropjoy. it's as if tracy chapman and blink 182 had a love child. and there they were. they believe in community and singing loud and playing rock and roll and bringing the entire audience on the stage to jump around and sing songs about love. plus the show was free. {it was @ the bitterend on 5
th and G street and i'm playing there october 1}.

Bumbling.

2009-09-07T10:46:00.001-07:00

I was bumbling around Balboa Park on Saturday and right before I fell asleep under a big knotted tree I thought about what the other big knotted tree's story would be, the one that was across from me.

The image to the right is one from an artist called Bryan Yap. My tree was more knotted and hunched over... but his I found easily with google. So there we have it.

The Big Knotted Tree
by: Meaghan Maples

She spoke as twisty and cleverly as her syncopated wings and branches.
When the bells rang she sat still. Not like the squirrels.
They both had heard it every day.
And every hour for that matter.

She had but three virtuous friends.
Sebastian, Hannah and Dante.
Each of them had their vices but were always sure to bring sweet, expensive wine to the dinner parties.
Hannah and our Knotted Tree have made a point to never give explanations for the windy aesthetics of one another.

Sebastian and Dante sit on top and sing to her jazz standards in four part harmony.
She has a beautiful life.

Fin.

simple things. bigger picture.

2009-08-15T13:27:00.000-07:00

i'm learning that every move i make towards joy with intentionality and patience is lending towards the good of my bigger picture. i'm learning that G-d is on the floor in my living room while we giggle and is behind the mastermind of the sushi chef who decided kiwi would be a great idea... and this greater good... this sincere G-d is in front of every opportunity i cease in music, in the car, in shaking the hands of rich and poor strangers... in clever and beautiful melody lines and improvisational rhymes.

i'm obsessed with dominos. the domino affect. the look the shape the sound of them near one another... on top of one another. the movie. there's a group of men who meet for 5 nights a week at the coffee shop i work at and their sanctuary is our patio. their practice is the game. their victory is the punto. they are some of the most interesting and kind men i have ever met. and there's a nice middle aged woman called julia who occasionally roams and lends out shoulder rubs. i love this community.

my greater good... abba... dear brown barefoot jesus man... this pure unadulterated love and joy and peace and patience with a broken, beautiful people, this circle of family and friends is my only rational attribute to all this exponential goodness.

"imagine how much a man's life would be changed if he trusted that he was loved by God? he could interact with the poor and not show partiality; he could love his wife easily and not expect her to redeem him, he would be slow to anger because redemption was no longer at stake, he could be wise and giving with his money because money no longer represented points. he could give up on formulaic religion, knowing that checking stuff off a spiritual to do life was a worthless pursuit, he would have confidence and the ability to laugh at himself and he could love people without expecting anything in return. it would be quite beautiful really..."

-donald miller, searching for god knows what

unlike my beloved dominos, this is far from black and white... i've brought all of this to the table because it's what has fed and nourished me... i don't expect the world to immediately uncover and delve. it's a big table. a lot of options. and some fool always brings that sketchy green bean casserole.

i suppose our faith is a journey... with a fuzzy warm and guided destination. like a teddy bear holding a compass straight out of laundry day.

peace and love.

let the sun shine in on your toes then yeah?
and our gardens near approaching their 4'th week of life...

britta's garden...

2009-08-05T11:39:00.001-07:00

the world is still growing and shaping and becoming more lovely...
britta returned home from her trip back to colorado and saw that our babies had been born....

my cousins came and visited me this weekend and my wonderful parents sent down great goods from ribs to cobbler (with berries from pops garden) to seeds so we can keep growing! urban veg we are we are...

she's planting pumpkins and sunflowers today and we should be carving and spitting out our windows by halloween....

we are learning that if it's worth having it's worth waiting for... and putting poopy food on.

can't hurry love.

nope.

week 1

end of week 2

making music.

2009-07-16T07:46:00.001-07:00

making music with stationary and such from Meaghan Maples on Vimeo.

love and the musicians that follow...

2009-07-11T10:48:00.001-07:00

here's the latest entry from my music blog...
myspace.com/meggmaples

i've been hit.
yes.
i love sharing what i've created...
i love bringing to the spot light what was dubiously uncovered in a dark corner of the garage.

according to the grape vine, most folks never fall into this kind of love... this put it all out there and sustain a living from this love...

love.
i'm patient and kind to my songs...
not too proud but always standing in their defense.

i love the support of other artists.
i thought i would just be eating cereal with jarel and bryan for the rest of my career... but apparently, we're gonna need more milk.

musicians around san diego that i have stumbled upon and made friends with are the likes of joe khoroosi, alan lilienthal, rhythm turner and her percussionist lisa from rhythm and the method, beverly mcdonough, and this cat called lou evans and his producer man jake chaplin... this rad ass chick tori rose...

these are all individuals that have been openly encouraging and supportive of my me off stage and on... these are people who have advocated for me promoted me and tacked me onto their performances and cell phone data bases.

comradery keeps everything about this alive.

i do plan on eating cereal (and rice) with the likes of two of my best friends, and the most talented musicians i'll ever know, jarel paguio and bryan bangerter... but it's refreshing to know that we're gonna need more milk.

over and out.

p.s.
please find all these artists on myspace and/or google their work.
san diego is the new nest for the next phase of magic my friends...

Do you ever get that African itch?

2009-06-05T14:35:00.001-07:00

Thank you to my wonderful roommate Kaley for the prompt.

.

I miss Tanzania all the time. I miss the sky.
How it always looks as if it went so much farther than any other place. Ever.
I miss the way my lip was salty from the consequences of the sun's over heated make out session with my face.
I miss having dirty finger nails and red feet. I miss sticky little brown hands and watching mangos being annihilated by big white East African teeth.
I even miss the smell of body after body in vans too small for a family of 5.
I miss smile after smile after eager hospitable smile...

A moment from the mother land... from Meaghan Maples on Vimeo.

more on bush.

2009-05-31T23:05:00.000-07:00

the hideaway chronicles: episode III from Meaghan Maples on Vimeo.

Things I want.

2009-05-25T22:52:00.000-07:00

World Peace
Spinach Salad with carmelized almonds
Polaroid Camera
Type Writer from the 70's
To be on the Hotel Cafe tour
Polaroid Camera Film
To live in New York City for a small session
Seinfeld (The entire person. I mean. Series.)
Long Hair
To be less like Cosmo Cramer
To make pots and learn how to sew
To get my bike fixed

more on my journey.

2009-05-24T13:53:00.000-07:00

www.picnictableproject.blogspot.com

the hideaway chronicles: episode II

2009-05-07T13:54:00.000-07:00

a: the hideaway chronicles: episode II from Meaghan Maples on Vimeo.

the hideaway chronicles: (part b of) episode II from Meaghan Maples on Vimeo.

My Home Life...

2009-05-04T00:56:00.001-07:00

The Hideaway Chronicles: Episode I from Meaghan Maples on Vimeo.

picnic.table.project

2009-04-16T10:15:00.001-07:00

here's what's going on...

www.picnictableproject.blogspot.com

It's much too late...

2009-04-03T03:42:00.000-07:00

But I just can't help but share some thought... Ahhh... who am I kidding... I'll give it ago during less ungodly hours.

My Trip to New Orleans

2009-03-15T09:22:00.000-07:00

with music by joel p. west (www.dustjacketproject.com)

The Robin Attwood Song...

2009-03-12T21:15:00.000-07:00

The Wizard of Oz Hip Hop Hoorah

2009-03-12T20:24:00.001-07:00

life.love.melody

2009-03-10T21:13:00.000-07:00

Hey yal, from Louisiana, me and my fellow New Orleans travelers have been keeping up on the community blog.

www.lifelovemelody.blogspot.com

new friends, new songs, oh march!

2009-03-08T05:38:00.001-07:00

Weekend with my other family...

2009-02-04T10:06:00.001-08:00

Although I forgot Justin Wrights name in the credits (I coulda got sued if this were hollywood).. he was VERY MUCH present in the video... and in the weekend... and I blame it on my weary late night eyes for doing such a stupid thing!

Life is Like...

2009-01-16T18:03:00.000-08:00

The views and opinions expressed in this video are not necessarily that of the sister who made it... :)

The Heart Break Kids!

2008-12-31T11:48:00.001-08:00

This project is dedicated in all it's comedic entirety to Rachel Pomeroy and the woman, the myth, the tyrannous legend all her characters have been to me!

Christmas time Part I

2008-12-27T00:41:00.001-08:00

silly. just silly.

2008-12-05T08:46:00.000-08:00

Secrets and Sweets:

Celebrating our Differences:

Oh the joys of Fall...

2008-11-28T14:14:00.001-08:00

Music and Me Pt. II

2008-11-15T10:54:00.000-08:00

And then some fun stuff...

Music and Me

2008-10-31T23:46:00.000-07:00

Here's to the other journey...

From My Mother... VOTE EVERYONE, or you could end up like me.

2008-10-27T14:12:00.001-07:00

Shoes a Walk presents... "Fresh Impressions"

2008-10-26T12:49:00.000-07:00

Oh the idiosyncrasies that make us, us. A flash back to Elishas birthday takes us places we never knew we could go...

Episode 2 Sneak Peak and the Birthday

2008-10-22T21:44:00.001-07:00

My Reality Television Career Has Begun

2008-10-21T01:40:00.000-07:00

I learned how to edit. I have amazing roommates. And a very funny life. Indulge. Enjoy.

just for fun.

2008-10-15T00:22:00.001-07:00

oh brothers.

2008-09-22T00:07:00.000-07:00

now im not one to usually socially exploit my personal life and the loved ones that surround... but on behalf of all struggling artists out there i give the tucker-frye-body-movement-phenomena 2 thumbs up... if not for innovation then for unashamedly owning up to the unnecessary and excessive amounts of technology and free time they both have.

love you boys.
now everyone get up off your asses and shake along.

The Brooklyn Story

2008-09-11T09:42:00.000-07:00

Many of you friends have heard it already... but for the ones who haven't, here is a version I submitted to Jedidiah's community story prompt thingy this month. The prompt was... Give love back.

"Everybody's Somebody in Brooklyn"

Blessed Boston. I had never been before. I should start from the beginning. I spent the summer in a traveling band o' brothers (and sisters) through my school, Point Loma Nazarene University, earning money doing an array of magnificent tasks including but not limited to music, media tech business and camp counseling. I needed space. I needed to breathe. I needed to get away. I think I'll go to Boston.

I spent an entire hard earned summer pay check on a plane ticket to Manhattan where I would meet my mother who would generously house and feed me during her business trip to the big city. Baller status. I had no specific agenda, I had no big plans. I just wanted to take pictures, eaves drop, speak to interesting strangers on the public transportation, and not catch anything foul.

I was then supposed to take a midnight train to Boston to meet up with some friends, and then another to D.C. to meet up with some other friends... There was a family emergency with Boston friend and that leg of the trip was cancelled. I had to stay another night in NYC with a child hood friend who lived in Brooklyn.

I've never been into college football so a night at the sports bar across town to watch Cal's kick off sounded less than appealing. A night-in with a Brooklyn slice, some beautiful pictures to iphoto and an exhausted California girl lounging on the couch sounded ideal. You can't order a pizza and not tip the generous soul that brings it to your door, especially in Brooklyn. I'm sure it's written down in some handbook somewhere. So I set off to the ATM for tipping fuel to the powers that be from delivery.com.

Two steps out the door and I realize I don't have my cellular device. On this particular night in a strange city all alone I felt it a necessity. How did Californians survive before cell phones? No keys. Locked out. So stupid. I fell into a deep disappointment of all things me and my friend and sports bars across the nation. I found someone with a phone and called my friend. She told me to pick the lock with a credit card. Two Visas and a Blockbuster rewards card later I’m still locked out but lo’ and behold there’s a pizza at my door and a friendly Italian delivery man who found it in his heart to forgive me for not tipping him.

I don’t want the pizza. I don’t want to call anyone else. I just want to sit there and cry. After a slice and a few tears I decide that I should give away my pizza. I set off to find some needy. After 7 minutes of hunting, I find myself in a seemingly needy-free community. Just fancy bistros and stone wall housing. I mope back to the apartment I’m locked out of. (Cue Charlie Brown score here.) I see a tiny shadow in the distance and figure it may be someone in need of a pizza.

It turns out to be a small child. Arianna is 4 years old and her incapacitated father sitting in a pool of his own vomit and tequila is having a rough night. Arianna is beautiful, curious and sitting on a stoop alone, locked out and wishing she were at home. All to familiar of a feeling. Dad pulls out a set of car keys. I play out every social work exam scenario I could conjure forth to memory from my college years, all of 3 months ago. I give dad the pizza. Arianna grabs my hand. I’m somebody to her. I’m not in Boston because of this little hand. I’m not in a warm apartment eating pizza and admiring my “agendaless” weekend because of this little hand. Dad disappeared into the dark, shady apartment building he was sitting in front of. We didn’t follow. We found our way to the bar down the street, incidentally named Safe Haven. We sipped on Shirley Temples and lemon water while coloring on enough napkins to absorb all the tears this little girl may have to cry because of her struggling father over the next 14 years of her childhood. This has happened before.… The Brooklyn police kindly escorted us to the 72nd precinct on 4’th and 29’th and we spend the next couple hours there in a sketchy witness room. I’m the closest thing to a familiar face for her. I can’t let go of this little hand. I love her napkin pictures.

I don’t know exactly what happened to Arianna. Later that evening she was taken to her mother and I was dropped off at Safe Haven… still locked out, still hungry, more tired but not so hopeless. If only I prevented a handful of hours of an incredibly ridiculous situation that she could’ve been in, then it was worth it… meant to be… and someone knows what needs to be better than I ever will. I just have to want to give.

why i dissapeared

2008-09-05T13:48:00.000-07:00

the blogs abruptly stopped on day 4. i know you were all waiting in anticipation. there were some discrepencies in... well... my life... that i had to deal with. the following events occured... and that is why i dissapeared. and it's just too good a story to tell in one blog so here are the elements... we will get to the story later.

*i got locked out of my friends brooklyn apt.
*i left my phone in said brooklyn apt.
*i had a pizza i didn't want
*i couldn't find a homeless person to give it to
*i did however find a drunkard and his small child
*i gave the drunk a pizza and kinapped his child
*me and said 4 year old little girl kicked it at a random bar
*then at the 72 Brooklyn pricinct
*she got sent away.
*i got dropped off at the bar
*still locked out
*faught with my host
*back at bar with luggage
*took ride to penn station from bar tender lady at 345 am
*ended up in beautiful d.c. with chris duck and justin wright
*came back home and britta and mayra nursed me back to life
*attached art to this here blog is the bar napkin work of said 4 year old kidnapped child

it's been a long week. i'll get into the nitty gritty of how God uses our feeble, over-organized schedules to do God's will, become uncomfortable in our faith and make big moves in this loco kingdom.

peace

nyc day 3

2008-08-29T14:46:00.000-07:00

i'm in brooklyn now. park slope to be exact, at sarah's place. it was a fun trot from the subway station to the apartment with what seemed to be 400 pounds of luggage and 60 blocks. it wasn't either.

mom left early this morning back to san francisco to carry on with her ordinarily incredible labor day weekend. me and sarah trotted around manhattan earlier today but i wasn't really in a place where i wanted to be touristi. i moreso wanted to capture all the vivid colors and movement in the everyday lives of these odd and beautiful creatures called new yorkers and the tourists that follow.

i figured i would go on a hunt for cliche new york, and i'd be as incinspicuous as possible. remember c-g? look as local as possible... fortuneately, through out my many journeys around this universe, i've managed to pull local off... considering my slightly carefree style of dress, messy hair and brown skin i've managed to pull off local in hawaii, tanzania, a soho chick in nyc, and a "coloured" person named angela in capetown. true story.

cheers to day 3.

my favorite. i wanted them all. one of every color. one of every story.

st. patricks cathedral... oh the glory.

this one's for jordan. a midnorning treat if you will... and i did.

lunch of the champions. it was too pretty to really taste good though. it wasn't what i expected. bronx pizza on university in hillcrest tops it any day... i'm just sayin... :)

ordinary new yorkers and the tourists that follow...

sarah in the subway... she was overjoyed???

sarah in her office on w36th... go ahead girl... and the say cal state fashion merchandising majors gotta struggle... :)

nyc day 2: stag in the city

2008-08-28T13:30:00.000-07:00

i meandered out of bed this morning around 10:23 eastern time... which might i remind you all is 7:23 am our time. blast. but i didn't want to miss the continental breakfast that i brought up to my room... room 701. the bathroom has the sexiest shower situation i've ever seen. also the most awkward one. you just walk into the bathroom and there lies a toilet... to its right is a sink and to your immediate left are two glorious shower heads and in the center of it all is... indeed... a drain. no curtain. no doors. just a hygiene safari if you will. so that was the morning.

i wrestled with the idea of googling myself into an itenerary bliss of activities and tours, but a. i've been here once before b. both mom and sarah are working today so henceforth it would be me and dozens of old people and various grownups/families/people in comfortable walking shoes... and c-g. i want to look as local as possible.

so i vouched for set and explore. i stumbled into grand central station and so in the spirit of historical monuments i set off to go to the met (metropolitan museum of the arts) and that was on 5'th and e81 Street. the station let me out at w47'th and lexington so i had a ways to go. i told myself i would walk as much as possible as to be frugal. i made it to about w57'th street before i hailed a cab. 10 bucks later i was there. it was glorious.

i found a near by subway and tackled that feat. took train 4 to time square and from there a cab to meet sarah for lunch at 141 w36'th. we had hale and hearty. it was both hale and hearty. salads made to order should be a thing in california. one would think. i walked the 9 blocks back to my hotel where i peeled the skinny jeans off my legs and turned the ac on high. it's very sticky here... like ob on a really gross mid summer afternoon.

so far i've seen a life size tickle me elmo (creepy) a man dressed up as freddie crougar (more creepy) and more live music and dancing on the street/subway than a girl could dream for (fantastical). even though i'm from the bay area i am still constantly amused and in awe of the different looking people, the noises, the smells (many foul) the lights and the hustle and bustle of people from more backgrounds speaking more languages than i could keep track of. it's amazing.

i've also managed to get behind at least a handful of mothers and nanny's pulling around children in busy public places... which reminds me of my age-old personal philosophy, which i'd like to share with you all now: although i love children and the joy and imagination their little hearts and minds entail, 6 years of being a nanny has been the most emotionally and financially rewarding form of birth control i could ever long for in my twenties.

2 more days of this then off to d.c. to see chris duck and justin w. for some more east coastal adventurosos.

cheers.

new york new york

2008-08-27T14:56:00.000-07:00

i've arrived. its warm outside... things and people are buzzing and beeping. my mom gabs on a business call while i stare aimlessly out the window of this luxury sedan. it feels like i'm in oakland. oh wait... here's the tunnel that the biker from that one will smith movie got hit by a bus in and then there's the empire state building... nevermind.

our hotel is in the cracks between an irish pub and coalition for something or other. without moms keen eyes i would have never found the place. people here walk in front of cars like it's going out of style, although i have yet to see any injuries or fatalities in this god forsaken traffic, so i suppose they can keep doing it this way.

we are waiting for sarah (childhood best friend who's recently graduated and relocated from so-cal to brooklyn) to get off work so we can all hang. our room is small. i don't know how we are all gonna fit in here for three days. it's beatiful though. pics soon. i need a chord to connect my camera to my comp... otherwise no pics til i get back. maybe ill be that idiot who walks around manhattan with her macbook face out and open to photobooth. it's tempting. there is a ton of vivid space here to capture.

cheers to day 1.

peace.

2008-08-21T17:32:00.000-07:00

It's dark and cold and things and people are beeping, honking, shouting and glowing. My mom lay there in here 4 star hotel room bewtween a drizzled on window and beautifully crafted door of which behind was a hall of other restless strangers, and maybe some sleeping in the wee hours of this weeknight in new york city.

Mom wasn't still. She wasn't at rest or at peace. Neither was Dad for that matter... thousands of miles away he may have been snoring, but still not at ease. Me, it was afternoon where I was. Early afternoon the following day in Moshi Town and I was most likely sitting on my porch staring at Kilimanjro laughing at my sad attempts to communicate with new friends and family in Swahili. Brother was out and about... some sort of social gathering where he was probably inhaling all sorts of vile fumes of smoke, cologne and sex drives... But Mom wasn't still.

She was crying... she was sad. She was angry. She was not at peace with her heart or her God or her failed marriage. She's an achiever. She was that achiever. The one who allegedly failed at her greatest investment for the past 23 years. Maintaining a healthy family. She was basically the only one in her bloodline that had accomplished the task thusfar. And yet she had failed? She had a broken heart and blamed herself and Dad... and so in that extremely comfortable bed with those pure white sheets and the warm colors on the wall paper in the expensive hotel that her fabulous job had accomodated her with, she didn't feel like a success. She had been in this hotel a hundred times. She had seen this city a thousand times. She had cried probably a million tears in her lifetime... but only had a heart this broken once. It sucked. She prayed. I sat. Dad sleeped. Nick danced. And all was not at ease in the Maples family.

The only other sign of God's love and peace in mom's life could have been an angel tapping on her window floating glowingly on the outside of the 17th floor brick monument... but a song I suppose will do. Her radio turned on. She didn't touch it. She hadn't set it. She wasn't even staring at it in hopes of a telepathic break through on the dial. Her back was to it, and it turned on. It sang to her... or more accurately Sarah did:

"In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there"

And that was it. That was it for my mom. She found peace. She heard God... she experienced love. In the middle of the night, some radio in some room shared with her a beautiful melody, an extraordinary truth.

Her marriage didn't solve itself... her kids didn't come back home... her husband did not stop snoring. Her heart was not healed... but peace isn't the resolution for all those things. From what I understand, an active experience of peace is the capacity to bear these things and know that God is much bigger than we may or may not ever feel; bigger than our tears and the things we are afraid of; bigger than our struggling relationships and beautiful hotel rooms... our doubts our fears and our distance. Our misunderstanding of our past, present and future.

God is bigger than us. He or she loves us enough to sometimes shine glimpses of her glorious light through our dark, drizzled on windows.

So really, peace be with you.

My sisters in India!

2008-07-15T11:27:00.000-07:00

One of my dear loves has taken a journey so far from us all but so close to our crooked little hearts... lets keep up with her, love, support and pray for her...

http://www.Katrinanindia.blogspot.com

dear britta and others i suppose....

2008-07-07T22:20:00.000-07:00

jordan knew this pic would be for you so he is taking an awkward one

here's what we shared for lunch. i ate the applesauce. we abandoned the veggies. :(

for breakfast i laid by the pool and looked at these beautiful ladies and seom trees.

then here's my first japanese bbq experience... fun fun for everyone yeah?

here has been my days. love you. enjoy these windows.

smt adventures!

2008-06-11T13:48:00.000-07:00

i'm a part of something spectacular this summer!

http://regenerationworship.blogspot.com/

p.s. that's me and my awesome team in maui a few weeks ago. booyah.

proxy.

2008-06-02T10:26:00.001-07:00

when i first came to loma i found refuge in a handsome, lanky kid with a mohawk who i soon came to know as "j-bo" which later got shortened to "bo-bo" which turned into now just "bo". justin bordley, chemistry/christian ministry double major extraordinare, would become one of my best friends during/post my time at plnu and we would share so many amazing memories... including but not limited to, dance parties (too many to count), gospel choir adventures, bsu shennanigans, family dinners, family breakfasts, conversations about life, love, liberty, missions, homeless, the church, kissing, not kissing, b-friends, g-friends, dating, not dating, chemistry, ministry, the rich, the poor, the inbetween over lunches in the caf or other random places in our world. he would be the one to see me on the way not to class and then convince me to go.

no he hasn't died or anything... he's on a plane to africa. to tanzania. to moshi. to shanty town on the base of mt. kilamanjaro where i spent some of the most developemental times in my life... this place with mary and peter and jill and alice... and all the emmanuel center boys... it shaped me... it brought me to who i am and where i am today. i've chosen not to go back because there are other oppurtunities i need to/want to engage in while i can... but he and i would talk of our hearts for africa and just a little pebble of a vision has caused a ripple affect that has taken him there... i'd like to call him my proxy. :) i can't be there... and part of me wishes i could. most of me wishes i could be in like 5 different places at once this summer, but i'm sure my experiences would be comproomised and henceforth cheapened.

needlesstosay (sidenote, why when we say "needlesstosay" we still feel the need to say what we were needing to say in the first place? we are odd and wordy) justin or bo, is starting an amazing journey that will be such a pivotol landmark in who he is towards ministry and jesus and people and roommates and the rich and the poor and the white and the african and all that's between. my thoughts are with him. my huge, sporadic prayers are as well. so is my envy of his journey. and my joy that one little conversation with a missionary named mary while standing in a blockbuster in bunk-ass pinole california led me, my heart, and the hearts and bodeis of my friend her way all the way to tanzania east africa. shangalia tanzania. karibu justin. nini naku penda sana.

imagery.

2008-05-27T00:29:00.000-07:00

my life this weekend at home in norcal. oh the joys...

abandon.

2008-05-24T11:21:00.000-07:00

so lately my love song to the lord has been along the lines of "fix me, fix him, fix us... help me help him help her what's next?!... will this work out? where will i be? where can i go? what can i do?"
i've been worrying a lot about the future lately... which i suppose is a bit normal for us almost college grads.

good 'ol oswald said so gracefully that jesus' word to his disciples was abandon . can i have it? can i have your word jesus? can i do this abandon thing? abandon fear and pride and worrying and remember that there is none of that in pure true worship like love.

in the meantime i'll just keep taking pictures of pianos in old bay area churches and coloring them with my thoughts... love songs pull on my heart strings.thankyou old church for being beautiful. thankyou piano for making so much noise. thankyou over exposure for making pictures more intense and thankyou oz for making jesus' words more vivid to me and all my little love songs.

writing songs again...

2008-05-24T10:51:00.000-07:00

so britta and jordan have thoroughly influenced me to write more music. i'm working on a song and yesterday at dad's work at this amazing church in oakland i had some fun in the sun with it. enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xiGkviNXLWY

Last Week..

2008-05-12T21:33:00.000-07:00

This is what got me through...

16Therefore we do not become discouraged (utterly spiritless, exhausted, and wearied out through fear). Though our outer man is [progressively] decaying and wasting away, yet our inner self is being [progressively] renewed day after day.

17For our light, momentary affliction (this slight distress of the passing hour) is ever more and more abundantly preparing and producing and achieving for us an everlasting weight of glory [beyond all measure, excessively surpassing all comparisons and all calculations, a vast and transcendent glory and blessedness never to cease!],

18Since we consider and look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen; for the things that are visible are temporal (brief and fleeting), but the things that are invisible are deathless and everlasting.

2 Corithians 4:16-18
Amplified Bible

Life Together

2008-05-12T21:26:00.000-07:00

So me and my Loma "family" started a community blog... a family thought spot if you will. It's bound to be full of great thoughts from a plethera of interesting and lovely persons... including yours truly. :)

Check it out at
http://www.lifelovemelody.blogspot.com

Hope.

2008-01-05T14:06:00.000-08:00

“Hope is not about proving anything. It’s about choosing to believe this one thing, that love is bigger than any grim, bleak shit anyone can throw at us.”
-Anne Lamott, Plan B: Further Thoughts on Faith

When I was 12 and feeling vulnerable, awkward and unattractive I remember wanting to wear flip-flops to church and from my mothers reaction you would have thought I wanted to plant a pole on the altar and do a naughty dance. We would always have big fights about little, stupid stuff. My parents did not believe in slumber parties, or Hanson concerts. I remember being able to have a slumber party but I could never go to one and stay the night. Maybe she was aware of possible overnight childhood traumas I wasn’t aware of at the time.

The biggest slumber party of the 4th grade was going down and I couldn’t t stay the night. It was always so humiliating to have to leave in the middle of the Alex Mac marathon to go back home to my safe, controlled environment. I told my mom I hated her that day. I told her right before I got in the shower as she walked out the door to work. I told her I hated her and that I hated being a part of this family and I wanted to be adopted into a new one. I was a fierce 9 year old. I knew which dagger to use on which heart and I made her cry. My dad yelled into the bathroom that I had really hurt her feelings and that I ought to think about my words and apologize.

I know now that my mom and dad didn't withold Hanson concerts or slumber parties out of hateful, spite. They loved me the best they knew how. They gave me rules and dress codes because that was the most amazing parenting they could conjure up at the time. I never hated them or sincerly wished to be adopted into a new family... out of frustration I threw whatever stone I could get a hold of. I am constantly throwing these stones at the ones I love the most. I am agonizingly human.

I'm actually very grateful for the loving boundaries set on me as a kid. I am reminded by earthly boundaries that I have a loving parent called God that sets all sorts of boundaries up in my life to love and protect me. This gives me hope. Even moreso because I know that my loving God has a loving sense of humor as well.

Yesterday I was in the grocery store parking lot and I just so happened to shoot up a prayer to the good Lord in all Her splendor for a date, or boyfriend, or kiss... or just something romantic. I walked into the grocery store and shopped around for a bout a half hour... then a somewhat creepy meat man with fuzzy hair, peircing blue eyes and a ghastly hickie on his neck repeatedly hunted me dow to make conversation with me and even requested I come back in more often because there just aren't enough sweet, pretty ladies like myself coming through the Point Loma Vons. He even made sure I found the frozen berries. He met me in aisle 3. Whoever gave him that hickie on his neck must be a lucky girl. I laughed to myself on the wayback to the car with my boosted ego and frozen berries... "Lord... not that kinda romance!"

These two funny stories are just lint in the joy pockets of my life. I get hope from these little lints of joy. Hope that makes me smile and hope that reminds me that I am loved. I am loved by my parents, the good God on high, the people who are probably reading this silly blog, and the meat man at the Point Loma Vons. What more could a girl ask for?
I leave you with this benediction! :)

Why are you down in the dumps, dear soul?
Why are you crying the blues?
Fix my eyes on God—
soon I'll be praising again.
He puts a smile on my face.
He's my God.
Psalm 42:11
- God, The Bible-: The Original Thought on Faith

Beauty.

2007-12-28T17:14:00.000-08:00

"Beauty is powerful. It may be the most powerful thing on earth. It is dangerous because it matters… Beauty is too vital to lose… Beauty is the essence of God. The whole world is full of His glory." –John Eldredge

I am learning to redefine beauty in my own life. I say this as I tongue the outside of my upper lip and taste raw, burning flesh from the waxing incident I had about an hour ago. I'm learning that beauty is more than my now hairless, wonderful upper lip. My brother comes into the bathroom and finds me staring in the mirror at my raw, hairless lip. He begins to shave and sings to me… "Megg you are beautiful… no matter what they say". I think out loud, "No matter what who says? What did they say?" We laugh.

I'm learning about beauty and what it's not. As I work on these distinguishments I start to notice what it is. I find the magic of God and his love in the indulgence's of great books by the Christmas tree and cups of tea by the fire while me and my dad watch football on mute. He hates the slanted commentary. I'm becoming enthralled in the most random "beauty" in people and places and things that are otherwise overlooked and ordinary.

I had a real beautiful experience last night. I would love to get into detailed description of the interaction I had with a man named John. John is the owner of this wonderful little Italian restaurant my parents go to often. The restaurant is just around the corner from our house. I love it. They have the best, cheesiest lasagna. I think we will go there for lunch tomorrow.

John is from Afghanistan. He is a short, 50 something year old, brown skinned man with shiny, crooked teeth and a gray moustache and beard. He speaks eloquently and softly but at the same time directly and passionately as if Manicotti were an art and meat sauce was a just cause. He stands there looking endearingly into the faces of my over indulged parents, grandmother and myself and we talk about Christmas, the farmers market and berries in Afghanistan that you would never find in the states. He uses his hands to describe the color and texture of these said mystery berries and then tells us all about the 72 kinds of grapes his country once knew. The beauty he is describing to us about these alleged berries remind me of another quote by Eldredge: "Nature is not primarily functional but primarily beautiful."

According to John, there is so many good grapes to choose from that Afghanistan has manifested the best wine… globally. Some grapes are so sensitive to… I think… the world, and humans… that you have to stand there and eat them right off the vine or apparently they disintegrate into thin air… or maybe it was that they melt in your hand or smush in your pocket. Nevertheless, the Afghan people can no longer familiarize themselves with these said 72 types of grapes or mystery berries because of war and politics and poverty and apparently laser beams from government forces that have wiped out the beauty of the Afghan agriculture. Who knows how many more generations will pass before they cultivate 72 more strands of grape crops? John celebrates Thanksgiving but not Christmas. He also celebrates Easter and I cannot figure out why.

He says these American holidays are a wonderful excuse for his friends and family to get together and eat a lot of good food. "Have you ever seen a melon THIS big?" He asks us stupid Americans who know nothing of the beauty of Afghan agriculture. Then he starts to talk about Russia and somehow its connection to the demise of their economy. He tells my mom to go to some grand festival of something in Turkey where she can get anything from coal to diamonds. It's completely relevant because Mom is going to Istanbul on business next week. Apparently the Turkish GAP needs international attention?

John was a pleasure to listen to. I felt cultured and blessed because I know I have friends in, let's just say for kicks, Lancaster, PA who will never sit in an Italian restaurant run by an Afghan man and talk melons and laser beams with him over Manicotti and the meat sauce revolution. I love my life and I love these odd interactions that just happen. I wanted to take notes on everything he said because it was so engaging to see him so pleased with the memory of his home and the opportunity to share it with his American customers. I love how Mom and Dad can pick up conversations with almost anyone about almost anything and it's almost always an incredibly interesting experience. I thought of Anne Lamott and her index cards that she carries around in her pocket for times like these. Then I thought of how ridiculous I would look if I stopped him right in the middle of the 72 grapes schpeel to fetch my card and pen and ask him to please go back the part about the disintegrating grape harvest. It was very "beautiful".

Hump of Wonder

2007-12-28T17:12:00.000-08:00

" Writing can be a pretty desperate endeavor, because it is about some of our deepest needs: our need to be visible, to be heard, our need to make sense of our lives, to wake up and grow and belong." -Anne Lamott
So now I write.

In Harry Met Sally Harry says, more or less, that girls and guys could never be friends because there's always that "what if?". Falso. There may be a "what if" at first because let's just be honest... almost every friend you've had of the opposite sex deserves the courtesy of the "what if?" Then you get over it and just enjoy the platonic glories of friendship. But then there are those rare occasions when you make a new friend and it's the kind of chemistry that causes beautiful, weird and dangerous things to happen when you mix ammonia and bleach.

This person will completely intrigue you. Not just the sort of intrigue you get at first when you enter into that first awkward and silly conversation where you may be nervous because you could have food in your teeth or sleep in your eye, so nervous that you don't even realize the inappropriate things you are saying. This someone totally wraps you around their finger with their every effortless, surface acquaintance. Sometimes they walk into your life and your friendship is this hilarious array of common ground via music and movies and "You're friends with fill in the blank?!? Me too!" And then of course a random deep conversation to ensure them that you're not just an attractive, funny, schmuck… no, you are also an intelligent, spiritual, socially conscious one.

It's a sort of thoughtless infatuation. Thoughtlessly infatuated yet you think of them often enough. It's always "great to see them" and it's always a coincidence… even though you knew they had an 8:30 class in this particular building with a very socially conscious busty brunette (you should have never dropped) and you inconveniently took the collision route. I've only done this twice... or so. But we do it because we are excited about the mystery of the next conversation. Of course this all sounds like a crush but it doesn't have to be.

It's the wondering whether or not it could become a crush (and in our crazy hopes and dreams a slippery slope from there) that leads us to these inconvenient collisions and a complete enthrallment in the description of their last meal in the cafeteria. Then something will happen. Someone will say something… or do something… or smell something. It will be one of you or both of you and the 'they can do no wrong' will fly out the door. Maybe it will be politics, or race and denomination issues or maybe they'll just be funky beyond words one day. It's at that moment when many will cross over what I'd like to call the Hump of Wonder.

You will realize that he's going to vote for a complete idiot, he would never join you at a Pentecostal church service and that he only bathes on the days he has that 8:30 class. He may realize that you aren't really as socially active as you are conscious, that you have cankles and that you talk about yourself entirely too much and go out of your way to run into him. From there you both are standing at the hump. The hump can do no wrong. I believe what is meant to be will be and sometimes one be will be entirely more painful and humiliating than the other, but it is nonetheless completely necessary.

I've narrowed it down to 3 roads after the hump. Life is not this black and white but at times I categorize things like this to make my own love travesties more interesting and aesthetically pleasing for every one. You could love this person in spite of these things like bathing and politics… love them in spite of themselves. They could get over your cankles and stalker like personality traits and from there you can become one of two things. Your friendship could grow into romance. Maybe it'll work out and you'll eventually birth and/or adopt attractive, funny, schmuck babies and raise them to be magically delightful citizens. Or maybe you'll love this person for the platonic joy they will give you as one of your closest most dear friends for the next 15 years. His kids with the busty chick in his 8:30 will call you "Auntie."

The third and least hopeful of all the roads is the inevitable demise of your adorable and clever interactions. You'll stay friends but it can't be close anymore. The poor cankles can no longer take the collision route; it's just not good for your heart. Here's to the clarity we all receive on our opposite sex friendship journeys over the inevitable hump of wonder.

For my own amusement

2007-12-23T01:03:00.000-08:00

If someone besides myself reads this I apologize in advance and guarantee you that this particular entry will not be half as interesting as what you may discover if you scroll down past all things written after my journey to Africa. However, if you want to hear about my recently acquired suburban syndrome read on. If you wanna hear about my attempt at missionaryism and saving the God-forsaken earth one Donald Miller theory on faith at a time, pass this one up.

As clever as I've grown to become over the last several years in my writing career... no that's the wrong word... my writing pursuit- much better- I've realized that I have a lot of words but little to actually say. I'm still giddy as a school girl that I don't have to look at the keyboard as I type. But sometimes when I notice that I'm blindly nickering (yeah it's a word, google magic that stuff) away at the keys I get a nervous excitement that causes me to look down and throw myself completely off. I digress.

I should probably organize my thoughts before this turns into a 10 page email about a crush from Columbus to a kindergarten buddy.

In the following journal entry which I wouldn't wish upon anyone besides myself to suffer through, I would like to discuss the following things.

1. My wonderful Christmas break and the pursuit of reading and journaling:

2. My battle with going to church and the evolution of Radiohead.

3. My hopes and dreams in school, romance and other frivolities of being a twenty something.

4. And finally, why the film Fight Club is a brilliant and excellent message of social consciousness.

In all honesty I just want to talk about Fight Club (God bless HBO) and crushes on boys (not to be confused with actual men, and that sounds way more creepy when I read it back...) However, I fear you may recognize the digression from decent human being to sex and the city junkie/self addict/private school victim so I will include hopes dreams and thoughts on the house of the Lord.

It's late and I have a blind date with an 11 am service in the morning so I'll probably just get to numbers 1 and 3.

Christmas break has been an excellent time for me to attempt a couple C.S. Lewis books, spend money I don't really have, mindlessly bicker with my mom, catch up on my on-demand HBO experiences, journal daily, memorize Mutemath lyrics,wear my brothers clothes, get groceries on my dad's tab, and take my Granny to the bank. Really, we should all do this more often. I've had more fun briskly walking in the morning frost around the block and running into teachers from the days of my childhood that I've long since tried to repress. The Bay Area sunsets have been eyegasmic.

Honestly, I don't see these kind of colors anywhere but here. Not even on the San Diegan shores... Sure, I'm probably looking through some San Francisco pollution but the fung schway is priceless. I couldn't possibly describe in words (yet I will in light of this literary experience) the way the back drop of God's great hand sets with the bay bridge and all the little white and yellow staggering lights from tall buildings next to the murky-yet sparkly- gray waters. Even the break lights of traffic make this whole picture a brilliant and breath taking masterpiece. I love where I live and I wish I could share it with everyone I know. Not at the same time though, we kinda have a small house. It's more like a cottage. But it's Richmond baby. The bay. I couldn't ask for more. Why is Natalie calling at 1:30 in the morning?

Disclaimer: I realize it's only been a week since I've seen you all. I don't miss you either. I have a great, honest and hilarious relationship with my mother. There's no such thing as an eyegasm. My granny doesn't rob banks or anything, she just hasn't figured on the kiosk atm. I use trendy terms out of context for the sake of the flow and I had an incredible childhood.

I liked that whole xmas vacation bit so much that I posted it as a note on the Facebook and tagged all my witty friends. :)Now for Number 3. My hopes and dreams. Sigh. This will take all night... I have so many hopes and so many crazy dreams abour babies and India and God and the purple sunsets... and kissing boys in my dead grandmas house... running from people in my live grandmas house... my childhood house, monuments in India... so really we don't have the time for this today now do we?

Ok, here's one hope since I'm already nickering away at this keyboard. I hope that my life after this May 2008 is as incredible and fun and full of friends, laughter, books, ministry, music and clever journal entries as this last and second year in actual college has been thus far. My sentences are way too long but like I said before, I have so many words, but what am I really saying?

I don't think that what I have to say is terribly important to anyone other than myself, and the Lord, and maybe my mom or something, but I do think there's a sort of genius in sharing your humanity, your douchebagness in faith and fumbling with others. It's kind of an art. I tell my life story and then we all can feel better about our late night Nickolodeon indulgences.

Wisdom is something I can see, taste and smell, and I even ask for it daily. It comes in small doses for me. It's like a box of chocolates. No joke. No pun. If God was like the Willi Wonka of wisdom, by no means am I Charlie. I may be the chunky blue berry girl with the gum... anyhow, He sends me peices of chocolate. This is special because it's God and all but it's only one little truffle. Can I walk into the factory and swim in His river of chocolate wisdom? Take home boxes of milky bars on preorder? I'm sure I can... but do I? No... I stay up late watching Fight Club and redefining the journal entry via blog. So here's to wisdom.

One snippet of wisdom I've recently received from C.S. Lewis, an old homie, "A tyrannous and glutenous demand for affection can be a horrible thing." That's a little somethin' I read in The Four Loves. He's clever and deep and perpetuates a sort of thoughtfulness about my faith that an old fashioned revival might or a really good Jars of Clay concert. He's not just saying that affection in a physical sense can be overdone. Of course it can, but affection is a lot of things. Many of which I still don't understand. This is definitely a "read it twice" kind of deal. But who has time for formalities? (I should really... reading his books is a sort of swim in the chocolate river in God Wonkas factory)

Affection from what I understand it to be... in the world... not just in Lewis Land... btw... is manifested through all sorts of vessels in word, gifts, time, on top of physical attention. It hit home because I see these needs for affection in myself- which is human and normal, we need each other to survive and be sane and have a healthy psyche etcetera- but I am coming to understand the very appropriateness in our need for the affectionate love is in the motives behind it, and the demand for it... quantity, quality... things of the sort. I'm still chewing on the idea. There's some chocolate for the day friends. And now... to the bed.

The Peculiars

2007-03-17T11:24:00.000-07:00

Last night would have been like any other Friday night... there were movies and icecream and Bryant and other folks... the other folks is what made it different. Last night it was the other folks that made it peculiar. It started last week when my dear friend Elyse (who has magical fingers by the way... pianist extraordinare) told me that she had never seen the Goonies! I asked myself, I says"Elyse! How can someone be a product of the 80's and have never seen the Goonies?!?" So it became my goal to theme an evening around Elyse's Goonies consemation. I really dont think that is the word I'm looking for. This evening also became the ideal oppurtuniy for me to hang out with more people my age... and not so much my age but different people. People I dont usually ever spend time with but every time I see them I'm like... you make me smile. I want to spend time with you...

Alas it came around... this beautiful Friday evening. After a slow paced, cold day with Dane, and 4 episodes of Blues Clues I made it home... had a hot date with Billy Blanks.... took a shower.... ate some chiken soup from a can... and awaited the arrival of my amigos. The doorbell rang... and behold the pianist, the bassist, and the photographer greeted me with embraces and cookie dough... Elyse brought this mouse icecream even though we said vanilla. Elyse is famous for not bringing the right things to a social gathering. Last week I told her we were having teriyaki stir fry and she brought over bbq sauce. Which is fine. She had good intentions and it gave me a chance to test my teriyaki sauce making abilities. The ice cream turned out to be really good.... so it was ok that she failed her mission. :)

Right behind the bassist came the guitarist the drummer, the supermodel and the actor. I was excited and looking forward to such an interesting evening with these beautiful and interesting people. Now I'm thinking to myself... this story isnt that interesting. You hung out with a group of talented and good looking people who love God and love you. Where's the conflict? Where's the passion? Where's the climax?

Well, we made a giant cookie and put a box of non-vanilla icecream on top of it. Justin's idea...drummers... We preceded to get spoons and eat it out of the pan. It was the most overindulgent thing I've ever done with friends... but it was delicioso. We wathced the Goonies and laughed and ate more pazookie and laughed some more and enjoyed eachothers company. Still no conflict... unless you count the underage, text messaging love affair that was happening between one of the musicians and an unidentified red head from Arizona. But other than that... there was no conflict that involved me, or the evening...

It was one of those nights you see on Felicity or the O.C. Really good company... a group of people that may never be together just the 8 of us again. 3 of the most amazing women I've met and 4 of the raddest guys I know... it was refreshing. But still nothing "crash throught the window, break a table, fall down the stairs" terribly exciting...

After Bienvenue, Miles and E.Z. E peaced out... I had life-story time with Bry, the Asian kid and J-Dub... Kaeli started... her life as a Belizian supermodel was filled with adventure and conlict and an incredible journey.... lessons learned and tears cried... unstable and amazing is what I called it... and it turns out she wasnt a Belizian supermodel... that's just her alias. Next went the guitarist.... plenty of suburban tales. Typical half white half Asian... :) Not as much adventure although the segment about San Luis Obispo was rather interesting... the actor went next. From Africa to Oklahoma... it doesn't get better than that. I went next. I found my life story painfully uninteresting... I found most of our stories painfully normal... except for Kaeli's. the drummer chef extraordinare finished... by this time it was 3 in the morning and the only thing that could've kept us up woulda been speed or a more interesting story or speed. Justins history isnt uninteristing, but like 3/5's of us it was painfully normal...

I found one thing that made all of our stories worth listening to. Its like they say... you can't see your future unless you know your past or something like that. And every single one of us had these amazing futures planned out. Of course it was the redemption phase of our yong adulthoods that was inspiring and nice, but it was the plans... the plans to have a play on broadway, to be an amzing physical therapist, to open a restaurant to be a musician with a lot of money.... those were the intrigues.

I felt it necesasry to mention how painfully uninteresting my life really was to the group and how all of us will have much more interesting stories to tell after we've traveled more and turned 40.

I wonder if I will know these people when I turn 40... if I dont... I will make sure to try and know them... to call them and ask them if all theyre dreams came true. That's basically what my Friday night was... one big, nice dream... little conflict.... a lot of love... and the feeling of inclusion and acceptance. That's what we're all striving for. Thanks to the goonies and a painfully uninteresting life story to tell, that's exactly what I got.

A Day Like Today

2007-03-15T15:29:00.000-07:00

After an amazing morning... and when I say amazing I'm over exaggerating a tad because amazing in my eyes has been reduced to not sleeping through my first class, and reading a chapter of the Bible before walking out the door... like I was saying, after an amazing morning of cocoa pebbles and Queen Esther I found myself in the dungeon of the library listening to tales about tax policy and interestingly intrigued.

There's a peculiar girl in my class that is also on the team I'm studying with in South Africa this summer. Banana and I have a quaint friendship, the kind you would have with a giggly, across the street neighbor or a second cousin or something. I seem to be hilarious to her. And she is outstandingly adorable and is always smiling. She's honest and odd and today we were matching nearly from head to toe. I always see her at the strangest times of my day and shes a breath of fresh air.

I felt the need to talk about her because she made me smile on numerous occasions this random Thursday and in case I forget about her in the future I'm hoping this will remind me. I also went to Africa care group... Dr Jamie Gates puts on these random lunches and dinners for people who have an interest and passion in Africa and get bored with our tiny little American lives and need to reach out to the bigger picture or something like that. It's always fun and I always meet people I know and like... today this dude named Brian was there. He lives in the Congo. He lives in the Congo alone. He's white. I give him mad daps for being white and living in the Congo alone. He's trying to change the world through micro-finance. That just means he wants to help stop poverty by providing resources for people with no food or money so they dont have to sell crack or sacrifice their first born and stuff like that. I think that's really rad of this Brian guy to be so socially aware. He's bulding Global Community. That's a movement that requires a blog of its own. Google it if you'd like.

Now I'm sitting here and my lower back hurts. Must be ovulation. Everything inside of me says get up and go excercise. I even have my workout clothes on already. But... I don't feel like it. Why don't I ever feel like it. One day if I break my leg I'm gonna think back on moments like this and kick myself (with the leg thats not already broken) because there's no reason for me not to feel like it. I'm just being lazy.

God, help me not to be so effing lazy. AHH! I think it's a spirit. Like an evil one sabotagind any potnetial in me to be thin and gorgeous one day. Yup... I'm gonna roll with that one.

I'll let you know tomorrow whether or not I actually made it to the gym.

Donald Miller in Chapel Today

2007-03-14T13:18:00.000-07:00

So there he was. In the flesh. I felt like I should close my eyes and pretend that I was reading what he was saying to me because he speaks exactly how he writes: with humor, with his foot in his mouth frequently, with passion, with "this is so simple, why dont we know this and do this" in his tone.

I was a bit star struck but that quickly faded away with each human word he spoke in that short, 30 minute time period. Actually, I kind of like that the speakers only get 30 minutes to speak in chapel... It's a small dose of some thing amazing... like eating fudge. Could we really eat an entire peice of fudge if it were the same size as a big gooey brownie covered in chocolate syrup with walnuts and vanilla icecream on the bottom. Well, we might be able to, but would we want to?

I walked away from it all today with that "I'm being challenged" feeling. The same feeling I get when I read Miller. And as I got up out of my seat and walked out of Brown today I thought to myself... this is what it felt like when I turned the last page of Blue Like Jazz and then found myself in belief that if I kept turning and flipping the book over and back again more pages would suddenly appear. But that's the thing. I always want to listen more and read more of things that are fufilling and challenging, when in reality, the purpose of those very revolutionary memoirs are to CHALLENGE me to not sit around and ponder about progression. They are the very call to be the progression... to "write a story every day with my life"... to live out a phenomenal screenplay with characters, conflicts, highs and lows and make it worthwhile, so that if anyone were to sit in on it as if it were a movie they wouldn't get up and leave... as if Jesus were watching it and saying..."shutup... this is the best part bluhd!" haha... i want to be His best peice yet... to entertain angels. Life is a dance toward God...I'm jus trynna move.

Pole Dada!

2006-04-05T16:04:00.000-07:00

Here's the ultimate "pole dada"... lol! Sorry Sister! :P I'm home safe now! Ive seen the beautiful golden gate for 3 days in a row now with no fog! Although its rained for 30 days strait in this part of the bay... folks are starting to get depressed and stuff! :( Oh well, I'm not! I'm thrilled ot be home... I even started a nerts clan.... Ive already got Mayra addicted and John, David, Court and the twins all know how to play now! Woop woop!

Moral of the story.... I hope every one else arrived back in the states safely. Congrats HB. I miss you Scotty! I love you Besty! Everyone in Tanz keep me posted in the haps! I turn 21 this Sunday! I'm getting old... pole dada... :P

Thanks for all the encouragement and prayers for safe journey. Thanks Zoe for the hilarious Kodak moment.

Zanzibar Etc...

2006-03-25T09:25:00.000-08:00

Why was I in the most amazing place in the world last week? I don't know, but I do know this: you must all join me next time! The island of "Zanzibar", now known to me as Nirvana, was where the interns had their final times together before I take off this upcoming Friday, March 31. It's a sad thing but the trip was amazing. We enjoyed every moment of the beautiful and historical Stonetown and the white sands off the coast of the Indian ocean here in Tanzania.

Mind you, it was quite the adventure to get there... but an 8 hour bus ride, a night in an Italian hostel and ferry boat later we stepped foot onto God's icing. I can honestly say it was the most incredible water I've ever seen... even miles out into it it was still blue like a swimming pool. The fish were like Finding Nemo! And the star fish looked like cookies with red icing... they were beautiful... nice descriptions huh? :P Well , my camera doesnt work under water so you'll have to come for yourself or just google it...

The whole trip was awesome. We took our long bus ride to Dar... it was like that Suntrips flight to Oahu that one time but tighter... Maples insider for that one. Then in Dar we stayed at this cool little hostel called the Cefa... Its an Italiano run place and it was real special... :P The owners kids, Kiara and Francesco, were incredibly beautiful. Their Father: Italian, Mother: Tanzanian, them: gorgeous... and they spoke fluent English, Swahili, Italian and are learning French... 10 and 7 years old! What the heck!?!?! I was just hopin' that one day my kids would do the unthinkable and pass Algebra! But now I've raised my standards. Once again... I wish I coulda took pics of these amzing kids who shared their stories and songs with me while hanging out in the tv room but some may find that kinda creepy so I didnt capture the Kodak moments... Mary preached in these 2 cool churches that Sunday and some of the interns did an incredible drama. The word was good, the ministry was good... God moved.

Not only was our trip to Zanz beautiful... but the town we stayed in on the first night was one of the first hubs for slave trading. They call it Stonetown to this day... probably because most of it is made of stone... :P (pic above and right here)... This pic which looks kinda like a stadium is where they would barter slaves on the platform and the next pic after that is a monument of how they used to keep the Africans while in waiting to be traded. We even sat in a real dungeon that slaves were held in. It ws a sad and powerful reality... and the most educaitonal thing Ive done since the fall!

More Stonetown/Zanz moments...

Zanz is 96% Arab so yes all the kids are these beautiful... It's sad though that the island is run by an Islamic faith... hmm? Maybe I can move there and be a tropical missionary???

This is the view from our sail boat on the sunset cruise we took on our first night at the beach resort.... yes the beach resort!!! AWE-freaking-SOME!!!

Here's our African Sailor man chillin in the sunset thunder... :P

This ones for my Alex... I miss you and seeing this acrobat show on the beach of the Indian ocean didnt help! But these acrobats were awesome though... I have more pics for when I see you in a million months... oh yeah sorry Buckys heads in the way.
The busy streets of Zanz...

Heres the American team... e're missing our African thunder the beautfiul Goudy but shes comin up next! R2L: Me, Dennae, Heather, Bucky, Christian aka Naitwa, John, and Scott... we;re sitting in frnt of our Italian hostel the CEFA! whoop whoop...

How many ways can me and Gaudy wear a wrap? Here's us before dinner and the acrobat show in Zanz...

Johnny, Naero and I pre-snorkel...

Then there's me and my nappy roots... post-snorkel...

"Oh uh-oh... we in Oakland now..." Here's our wonderful team leader Mary who put the whole sha bang together... and J, Buck, HB, Gaudy and Huse standing in the middle of the street in Dar Es Salaam about to get hit by a bus... Whoops!

So overall, this trip was amazing. I saw a side of this awesome God that we serve that Ive neevr seen before. Gaudy said it best... "how can anyone see such beauty and not see God?"... We saw some of the most beaustiful parts of our world this week. I fell in love witht he creator all over again... the ocean was warm like bath water and the sun was hot like fire... lol.. we got the burns to prove but in all reality... this life is way too amzing to let the oppurtunity to explore Gods beauty pass us by. Even the islamic songs and chants heard through out the city severl times a day were beautiful... it was very sad because with all of our hearts we wanted to ehar the angels singing praises to the Lord for all the great stuff he's done... but still beautiful. This was the perfect end to an incredible season in my life...

Don't worry it's not over yet... I'll be bloggin about the aftermath when I return home to the U.S. this upcoming Friday... until then... I'm going to soak in as much Africa and as much of my Mary, Jill, Gaudy, HB, Besty's, Huse, Naitwa, John and the Emma Center kids as possible! Peace easy! A-town! (Africa-town... lol... I dont know why... I just do....) :P

Living on The Mountain

2006-03-20T12:26:00.000-08:00

I've spent the last 3 months living on this mountain. Moshi, Tanzania is on the bottom of this incredible mountain... Kilamanjaro of course. I've been eating with its people, drinking water from its springs and falling in love with its children. On the other hand... I've been living on this spiritual mountain. Eating only things of God in my life (no outside temptaions:tv, music, movies, etc...) drinking from this wellspring of life and beauty that I see in His creation from the minute i wake up to that huge Tanzanian sun to the moment I fall back asleep with an amzing view of every star to see from earth through my tiny bedroom window.

To go home i'll have to come down from the mountain but I won't have to come down from the mountain... that makes sense I hope. My attitude and heart have forever been completly changed. The Lord has completly uprooted my entire being... not like "I went on another week long missions trip to Mexico and saw some poor people, built a house then came home and went back to my same routine..." although ive been on some POWERFUL week longs to Mexico... but more so like being taken away from my comfort zone and everything and everyone I know... like right now i'm sitting on the computer in my hostel on the island of Zanzibar off the coast of the Indian Ocean with a naitonal sitting next to me watching The Breakfast club with Arabic subtitles... who does that?

I don't believe you will truly, completly appreciate your life for what it is until you come to a place where you are willing to change and grow and move forward and be stretched and be flexible... to give God all you are... all the time...

One of my biggest battles has been to lay down this sin nature... this flesh.... this being human if you will... :) selfish thinking- the me, mine, I mentality that I've perpetuated with selfcenteredness since I could make decisions... oh yes, i'm still selfish, but now aware in that attitude and pursuing change and growth daily.

This is my prayer for every person I know... and not even that... every person I dont know... but even more so every YOUNG person I know. Today i met a woman that said the more languages you learn before your 35, the more likely you are to become fluent in those languages... and let me tell you, being selfless, thinking of others higher than myslef and more than myself is a language nearly foreign to almost everyone I know... especially me. So my proposal is that we start young, people! e step outside of our flesh (ie: selfish thinking, shallowness and yes even foolishness at times)outside of our comfort zone and our own plans... let go and venture out!You will never I mean NEVER regret it! I can't imagine my life without these people... my circle of friends without these friends is incomplete.

Think about it... it's this bubble... this ocmfort zone... this safety net of having every second of our lives planned after highschool. Graduate, go to school, work your butt off, get a job, work your butt off, fail a class, take it agian, pick a life plan, change the life plan, work your butt off, graduate school, do the plan, tolerate the plan, change the plan, go back to school, work your butt off, fail some more classes and the cycle continues til we're 30 and/or too old to changh the plan again... and in the midst of it all... we stand in church every Sunday telling Him "I want to do what you want me to!!" HMM??? Of course much of this scenario can be inevitable even for those of us completly walking in obedience... life is full of things we don't really want to do but need to to get closer to what God has for us... but... what if? Just what if there was something bigger than everything we thought we knew??? Something more to life than just following the status quo of the 18-28 year old American. Suppose you gave God a period of time where He had your UNDIVIDED attention. What if we were truly missional in every area of our lives... walking servant minded... not "socially acclimated to our cultures image for youth" minded.

Let's say you took a semester/trimester or by gosh a year off of school (gasp! "A whole year?!?!? but then I'll graduate when I'm 24 instead of 23!!!" you may say... "hakuna matata" I say... "one less year of being a grownup in the real world"... lol... i know, someone slap me later) but let's justr pretend for one minute... you took this time and got away... NYC, Japan, Tanzania, the Philipines, Oahu, San Francisco, Puerto Rico... and the list of amazing places goes on. You go: you spend your time learing about a new culture and a new language, eating new food, meeting new friends from all around the world, adapting to new personalities, learning how to work on a team, learning to be humble and selfess, falling in love with a people you would have never imagined even knowing... hot summer nights in January...

Not going to the movies! talking on a cellphone!!! watching MTV or vh1 or having starbucks everymorning and In-n-out every weekend... listening to Sunday sermons 2 deep in translations... serving expecting nothing in return and loving most if not all of every moment. Meeting people with similar vision, passion, and heart for ministry as you but nothing else besides that similar and walking away with a best friend... Diving into the word of God during our spare time!!!??? Spare time? Yes, it's awesome. And last but not least... seeing the good the bad and the ugly of your own heart and waking up every moring in pursuit of refinement, understanding the hear tof God more because when you're not in your bubble... your comfort zone... your "home church" with your homies.. the only way to look is up.

What if we really did "go out to the world"?. God shouldn't have to call us up on our night time minutes and tell us exactly when where and ow to go here or there... he's given us His word to obey, a heart to feel compassion, ears to hear a peoples cry, hands to work and serve with, and eyes to see the need, and feet to go! We have God senses... are we using them to the best of our ability? Are our eyes open? Or are we waiting for "One new message" with A-Z details... God never "called" me to Africa... but I asked for his eyes, ears and heart and He opened up the dorrs of oppurtunities to put my misisonal foot forward and go to the need.

mom shouldn't have to tell us to do the dishes... if we see dishes in the sink shouldn't we just do them? Hasn't she raised us up well enough to recognize and just do it?

I'm sure you can't imagine the "mountain" you'll be on when you enter into a realm of obedeince... yes, you'll still be human; selfish and prideful and daily battling to exit that flesh but yes you'll be transformed form the inside out and constantly refined by this awesome God and blessed by the oppurtinity to be on his frontlines.

Mark 8:34-37
...You must put aside your selfish ambition, shoulder your cross and follow me. If you try to keep your life for yourself you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake and for the sake of the good news you will find true life...

and how do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than the soul?

Camping in the Massai Village!

2006-03-14T01:20:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time, there was a group of interns and the "Mama Intern" (Mary Navarro!) in Tanzania. We decided to go on a camping trip in the Massai village last weekend. So we loaded up the dala dala and headed out! An hour later we passed the witch doctors house and entered into the Massai outskirts!
" How many interns does it take to set up a one man tent?"John asked. So far it had taken all of them!

They later saw that one tent for all seven interns and a national would never work! So Rebecca to the rescue!

Bucky came and saved the day! She put up all the other tents and we would be able to sleep in peace! (not based on factual events)

So the boys had their space...

And the girls had theirs... (from T 2 B, L 2 R: Rebecca, Heather, Gaudy, Mary, Deborah aka "Debo", Me and Dennae.

So we played with the kids... jump rope has become the popular favorite. And the kids had a blast... and so did the interns. We had also done our ministry presentation earlier in the day. (David and Goliath and the "you are able with God's strength" message)

And then... Pastor Longita (the host pastor in the village we stayed at) led a group of children in a Massai kid v.s. Moshi Kid tug-o-war contest! It was awesome!!!! :P

Then me and Christian aka Naitwa eloped in a tribal hut outside the water hole and adopted a Massai child... and we all lived happily ever after. Pole mom! (lol no, not really, I could never elope on the internship!)

Random Cool Moments!

"We don't play... We quit school cuz of recess..."

and Heaven came down... here's the view from our tents right before sunset... hecka awesome.

Becky on time out... pole dada (poe-lay dah dah: too bad... so sorry)... :P

and then... the dala broke down on the side of the road!!! shoulda been a... lol... thought you knew!

Mud-ducks-R-Us?

2006-03-04T05:08:00.000-08:00

Ha Ha! Well that's what it may seem to be... but yes we are coverd from head to toe in mud... why you may be asking? Because yesterday God opened up the heavens and after being in a drout wiht no consistet electircity or water in our wells for weeks now... the storm has come... and we danced in it like mad savages then played tug-a-war and almost died! Well, we didnt almost died but Husereau decided to pull so hard that fell backwards and injured my spacula?? (The bone right under your shoulder blade?) but that wasnt till after all of me went down hard and hit my head first in the muddy but still firm grounds... Buckys hand was almost ripped into many peices from the rope and we both almost blinded Scott with the whole mud in the face move... nevertheless... it was probably one of the most fun things any one could ever do on a rainy day in AFRICA!!

Me and Huse... straight gangstas... lol

Carrie II? No wait it's the girl form The Ring??? Oh... it's just Bucky making her "Dusty" face... :P

Mud-ducks R Us?? Shoulda been an A-G missionary! Send us some money for showers please... :P

Please pray for the rains to continute to come... the rains are about as close to a shower as we get these days with empty wells and all... and the electricity being out really suckshowever we're so used to it now that we get along just fine playing nerts (nerts: (n) funnest, fastest, most intense crazy addicting card game ever; synonym: grits: what the germans here in tanz keep calling it by mistake) by candle light.

On a more serious note... not having rains is affecting our entire country. There are several villages around Tanz that are dying and crops arent coming, livestock not getting fed and its not a good thing. So pleas pray for the rains!

I can see clearly now...

2006-03-02T04:43:00.000-08:00

So many things have happend since my last report to all of you... Let's back track. Last week a friend of Dennaes, Pastor Don nd his daughter flew out from Rhode Island. Don and Renee were so much fun to be with. We taught them our addiction nerts and they just flew with it. We all went on Safari together... Don had a few speaking engagements while he was here as well and the Lord really moved in truth through the word. Us girls had so much fun with Renee... I think God totally blessed her heart while she hung out with the interns all week... she's now our official mini-intern.. aka "mintern". They went home already... pole... :(

But God's still stirring up some awesome thing with our crew. The 20 something's Engish fellowship that Scotts been leading is going really well. Last Friday we had 18 internationals at our fave restuarant Sals Salinero. We packed up Sals and Husereau gave a word on not havin the fear of man in your life... it was awesome and I know God really blessed these people... There were internationals from all over including various parts of England, Switzerland and all over the states. It was awesome and Im juiced aboutt his Friday... Scotts doing a great job leading this whole thing up. We've all seen this incredible leader inside of him pop out his little head and speak up... it's been really cool.

As for village minstry... we're going outt o the Massai (pictured above) next week for a 2 night camping trip. it should be interesting... It's the real Africn bush out there. I'm super scared... but I'm way excited. I know the Lord goes before us and these peoples hearts are really opened to hear what we want to say to them through loving them and their children and spending time just getting to know them. God really works miracles through just those simple things.

Speaking of spending time... Gaudy, John and I went to the KCMC hospital today and visited the kids in the childrens ward... it was so heart breaking o see these kids squished in rooms 5 or 6 beds in rooms the same size or smaller than the single or doubles in the states... but they have hope... and they still smile. We played witht hem and prayed with them and just visited and talked with them.Many of them with this stomach disorder- the one that causes the bloated belly- they won't make it through their teenage years... but they still smile. How unbeleivably crazy is that... its such a reality check for those of us who take advantge of our lives and waste the moments that God has blessed us with. It broke my heart but brough me so much joy all at the same time... in all reality Im not really "called" to hospital ministry... honestly... I wasn't really "called" to Africa... but I was called to be used and to bless and to teach and to learn and have my life flippd upside down... God's word "CALLS" all of us to feed the poor and care for the sick... that's not to say my life is any more valuable and special because I'm in n African hospital or whatever... but it is to say that my heart has been radically shook up... my life totally invaded by the voice of God in this season. My prayer for allof you is that you hear that 'call' in your life and answer with a flexible mind and open spirit.

I met a really awesome bubbly fellow yesterday at the coffee shop with Huse. His names Manuel and he's traveling around Tanzania and then to other parts of Africa on just well... I dont know why.... I think hes just back packing and trecking around. Either way.... he was an awesome guy. He just becme a Christian a month ago at this big gathering in France thats apparenty known about world wide called Taize. Sounds exciting... I taught Manuel how to play speed and he whooped me... we had all sorts of interesting converstion about life and God and it was just awesome to pick up form no where with a random foreign stranger and make a new friend... thats what you get when you just kick a convo. :)

We're down to the last stretch of the internship and the mods even gettin a bit solemn. We know the chances of the 7 of us being a team together ever again are slim to none. Of course we'll probably all keep in touch through emil and xanga or whatever but it won't ever be like this again... theres a season for everything... this has been one of the best if no thee best season of my life as a Christian. I've walked in so much faith and have gone through and am still going through so much refinement as a woman of God, a friend, team mate, daughter, sister, besty :P and just in my character in general. I can't wait to go home and share this joys which is overfowing from inside me right now. Although Im sad to leave my team... its even sad because Chrsitian and Dennae are climbing the mountain this week and they'll be gone for 6 days. Pole... (too bad) but how awesome is that ... thy're climbing the freaking mountain!!! Mt. Kilamanjaro! ?Mt. Kilafreakinjaro!!!! LOL more Later gotta go teach the njoro kids how to double dutch... ha ha ha... I love my life... :)

Prayer Requests

2006-02-24T07:39:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone!
All is well in Tanzania! I even got to go on a Safari this week. Check out the pics below ... Im missin home alot these days but I received a package from my parents with a little taste from home so I will survive.

The team has been bonding more than ever these days and our ministries in the secondary and primary schools have been so effective. Today we spoke at a secondary school in a local village about abstinece/stds/hiv/aids.... and then mary shared the gospel of Jesus Christ and about the healing and restoration god gives us... it was powerful. Their lives were touched and many if not all gave their hearts to the Lord. Scott shared his testimony andwe did some awesome dramas and illustrstions on the heart and keeping it whole and pure...

Its only getting better and better here. Please continue to pray for the following things for our team:

1.That everything will go smoothly with Jills adoption of Noela and Enoch as far as paeprwork, finances etc.

2. Marys vehicle fundraising. Shes been working at raising the money for nearly a year now and shes only got 5,000 USD but we need 16, 000 USD for a decent used vehicle to get us around in ministry (going to schools to speak and villages to evangelize and to get interns and uests around as well as regular errands) for one day of ministry we spent 70,000 schillings (about $67 USD) for our 2 taxis. Unbelieveable! but thats the cost of ministering around here... everythings on the outskirts so we gotta do what we gotta do. so pray that God inspires her sponsors to send in the cash flow for a vehicle.

3. Continued favor with administration in the secondary schools and with the students as well tat their hearts would be receptive and open to the knoweldge and truth we're trying to plant in them about their hearts minds and bodies.

4. Our Pastors Brian and Janine leave next week for the states. After 7 years of minstry Gods claled them back to America. Pray for their flight as well as their new season of ministry and their new life in Charlotte NC. Also pray for our nationals who are also our church leaders that will be taking over services and church business.

5. International ministry: Through out our stay here we've been reaching out to several misisoanry kids as well as just internationals that are here teaching or who are kids of teachers. Pray that the heart of God will shine through us and that they'll find something mroe to their lives. They all love it here but many are still searching for a place to call home as well as meaning to their lives and direction from the Lord. Scott started a 20 somethings fellowship for the internationals and it was effective last week.. hopefully this week it will be as well.

Thats all for now! God bless you all! I miss you so much!

Megg

The African Sunset

2006-02-24T00:35:00.000-08:00

God of wonders beyond our galaxy... you are holy! Holy! The universe declares your majesty.... you are holy..... holy!!! Lord of heaven and earth.... Isn't this sunset beautiful. It's the view from the lobby at our hotel on Safari. John and Scott are doin their best silouhettes... hott stuff??? Maybe not ;P but the sunset is bad!! I I I love my life... I I I love my life... :)

Safari... Whoop Whoop!

2006-02-23T22:30:00.000-08:00

Yes so I'm glad I got it out of my system because I will NEVER, I repeat never drive on them bumpy roads for 3 hours at a time again! LOL... but let me tell you it was worth every single second... Yes we saw a kill... I even got a movie of it for those sick freaks of you who want to join me when I get home and show it off... I was like 3 feet from the lion and 15 feet from the kill... They tore thsoe buffalos apart! We stayed at the Ngorongoro Sopa lodge which is like the nicest lodge you can stay in and it was amazing... We took in every second of it. It as beautfiul the sunset was AMAZING (there's pic just for you Sara!) and we all had such a good time with one another... The pictures say it all. Oh yeah, as you cna see those are girl lions.... doing all the work tryin to get the bacon for the fam! Independent women!!! :)

This sunset is for SARA! I love you cousin!

Here's a Massai Kid... how awesome.

Yes, it's an elephant! Hey!

Look how close I was to this Zebra!!! I can count his bi racial stripes... diverse-city whoop whoop. :)

I miss them!

2006-02-20T00:29:00.000-08:00

Thanks to Uncle Don for sending me this adorbale pic from back home in Cali! Zack and Zo bring make me soo soo happy! They bring so much joy to my life... all of my family does and this is the longest time Ive ever been away from them... man I love my life here in Tanzania but I can't wait to go home and see everyone again before I'm shipped off to college :P (wherever that may be). Good times! I miss you all!

Childrens Outreach

2006-02-18T10:09:00.000-08:00

If you have all been praying for this ministry here in Tanz to be effective... it's working! The children in the different villgae here are totally getting touch. God has totally given us favor with the people and they welcome us with open arms. Today we went back to Njoro to do a mini crusade for the children. we taught them songs and did a puppet show. They loved it... having lighter skin really affects how you are recieved. The kids are totally fascinated with us because we're "wazungu" (white people) I even had to have a little conversation with a kid today and explain to him what being half and half is. Gaudy ended up helping me and now they call me "chotara" which means mixed girl. I wasn't too thrilled about just being called white person all the time so I had to educate the generations!! ;) Well now they know... and maybe one day they too can marry a person with light skin and continue the legacy of "chotaras" around the world... :)

God totally moved today with these kids.They heard about a little boy named Samuel who had ears for the voice of God... it was an awesome Bible story recievd very well from them all... then we had the nationals from our church do a really hilarious puppet show for them. They were so excited! Then we made the mistake of throwing out candy in the end and caused an uproar and many were stampeded including all the interns giving out candy. Christian actually was chased around the Saconey (market) by about 50 kids... it went by so fast I couldnt even capture the Kodak moment. :) But I'm sure the few that I did capture will suffice. :)
Here's Scott and his Njoro childrens entourage... it's so awesome that they follow us all the way out of town...

Njoro Ministry

2006-02-16T11:04:00.000-08:00

Yes, same shirt, same day, different kids. :Below are me and the Njoro kids and to the right is the view of Mt Kilamanjaro from their market area. This is the village we went into today to evangelize to. Me and Christian were teamed up with our Rwandan refugee friend from church Valentina. She was our interpreter. We ended not even leaving the spot we started at because the children just swarmed us and loved on us and actually faught over who could hold my hand... we defintly dont get that kind of attention at home. It was so awesome. The mountain was beautiful and the kids were so awesome. They taught us songs and dances and games and Christian and I just ran around with them for two hours... that's the life... I bet there was at least a hundred kids there today. We're having an outreach there on Saturdy so I'm glad we were able to "plant some seeds" if you will. :)
Here's Christian in the song circle... he makes it look so intense. :)

Here are the Njoro kids teaching us how to sing their songs and run around like crazy in a circle.
Aren't these girls beautiful?

Just a reminder: Oh yeah, anyone who looks at my blogs online... please feel free to comment! I love hearing about how much you all enjoy these pics and stories... it makes my day! You don't have to join blogspot or anything... just go ahead and drop me a line! ;)

Another day in the life...

2006-02-16T03:24:00.000-08:00

Today was another awesome day in school assemblies. All of the schools so far have welcomed us with open arms and even let us talk about the love of God. But this school by far was the most welcoming as far as the kids and teachers loving on us. They had a blast with us and totally welcomed us with WIDE OPEN ARMS!!! Gosh, these are priceless memories! You'll notice in the pic to the right a muslim girl... that girl heard about the love of God today in a way she has never heard before... she even stood up in from of the crowd of 500 plus kids and did the motions to a fun kids worship song with us. Priceless, absolutley priceless.
Our guys had an awesome time with the kids today. They all did such a great job again! I have such a tight squad... Christian did his "you are able to beat lifes 'Goliaths'" message again and he hit home... Scott did most of the MC'ing and intros (the kids love him!) and John was an awesome Goliath again! Every person plays such an important roll in making these assemblies work. Between all of us leading songs together to having the interns pull kids out of the crowd for drama and stuff... we all put a lot of team work into this to make sure it goes awesome. But ultimately we've seen how the power of the love of God though has touched these kids lives. It is that alone that has brought success to these assemblies thus far. Here's to many more!! :)

Look at these beautiful faces... being here makes me think of a song by a wise young emcee Frank Naeborn ala Youngfart... I mean Youngstar :) ... "I-I-I Love my life, I-I-I love my life..." and so the song goes... :P

???"Shoulda been an A-G Missionary"???

2006-02-16T03:16:00.000-08:00

A few years back when I was in youth group we would go to youth conventions and summer camps and stuff with the church and there were these ridiculously inappropriate yet hilarious advertisements for AG missionary support. They'd show broke down misisonaries walkin on the side of the road... then they'd show another group driving in a nice SUV. Then as the nice SUV drives on by the broke down missionaries look at eachother and say... "I shoulda been an AG missionary"... then fade to black. LOL. Well, none of the missionaries I live with are AG, and lifes pretty sweet for us... we're not suffering or lookin broke down at all! Sometimes our SUV breaks down... but thats about it. Today we had to hand pump something under the hood to get the it started. So there's Becca and Jill are holdin it down under the hood! Independent women! :) It was a "shoulda been an A-G missioanry" moment to say the least! :P

Random Cool Moments

2006-02-15T13:54:00.000-08:00

Can you find the interns?
I love it here, I'm coming back to volunteer in the school system. I wanna get my feet wet in the education feild and teach english to these beautiful, awesome kids!

The Taxi man! Lewis is our cab driver who we use like every day around here but he's also an incredible man of the Lord that we attend church with and he has such a heart for children! Awww! Look at them, they love him!

A lesson of trust: Christian taught an object lesson on trust and we even used one of the little boys as an example in the "fall back" part of it! It was awesome! Chris did really great... preaching and teaching has never been a strength of his... until now! I am so excited that God is working on him and giving him such a boldness to share the truth of Gods word.

The Superbowl!: I took this pic of us interns on our wy to this hotel down the road to watch this years west cast slaughter aka the Superbowl. Yes, Becca is sleeping. Why? Because it's LIVE! And Live for us means 2 am!!! Crazy Kabisa! (Totally Crazy)

Goodbye Piki Piki: Here I am getting ready for my final piki piki ride with Peter Street before his 3 month business trip to Damascus and Samaria. It was fun.. banan feilds, coffee crops... then an awesome view of the mountain. Mary got herself quite the adventurous catch! Can airplanes go on such adventures Dav-eed? Hmmm?

Intimate thoughts with "hott Scott": "Hmmm? How can I be more charming then a Latin Suave from Cali? I'll stick 2 dollars worth of quarters up my nose!! Should I?"

"I should... and I did... Oh yes, I'll give it to ya!" Dang, there goes my 2 dollars in quarters... east coast men... :P

Real World Tanzania 2006!: My My we look mighty fine! LOL... All of the interns and Lis went to a rel Tanzanian wedding this past Saturday and Heather and I helped out at the worship conference.

Valentines Day 2006

2006-02-15T12:37:00.000-08:00

The friend Zone- :P Me and Ross from Scotland at Sals for V day.

The girls at the dinner table. Like our red?

Our boys L to R: Scotty, John, Ross and Christian... aww! So good looking!

Shake your groove thang Shake your groove thang yeah yeah! Show em how we do it oh! LOL... we had so much fun!

Valentines Day in Tanz is awesome! They totally cater to our needs for the day of love. So our favorite hotel Sals Salinero turned itself into a cheesy high school dinner dance. It was hilarious... there were lights every where and a disco ball. All the girls dressed up in red and we all had a blast together. In the standing pic of all us girls its Becca, Me, my valentine from Indiana Lis, Heather, Dennae and Mary. Below is a pic of me and my "official date" :) Ross. He's a family friend of Peter Street from Scottland and hes here in Tanz til April interning at the hospital for med school. Don't worry... we're just friends! :) But it was fun for all of us to go and dance to the Tanzanian island music.

Schools and Mountain Churches

2006-02-15T11:09:00.000-08:00

Church on the mountain:
Today we went up Mt. Kila to minister at Rehema’s dad’s church. Rehema is one of our fiends from church that does lot of translating for us. She’s also a worship leader on the team with Mary. It was such a bumpy ride… but it was fun… John preached on John 17 and 15… the main message was about Jesus being the vine and we are the branches. Being one with Christ so we can be whole as people… it was powerful. Man… as I sit in this room typing Dennae and Scott are talking about when we all leave. I’m gonna miss them so much, I’m leaving before them all. That makes me so sad. We’re only half way through but it’s gone by so fast we know the end is coming… I’ll be back soon enough. Below is a pic of the team in the dala dala on the way up the mountain. To the right is John preaching and Rehema interpreting.

Above: I picked a little boy named Michael out of the crowd tody to play David. He did so good! Look, Goliath is defeated!
School Assemblies: Priceless
Today we went into 2 elementary schools to do school assemblies. IT WAS AWESOME. Christians in charge of the children’s ministry aspect of the internship and that’s definitely a stretch for him because he’s just now developing his leadership skills. He’s never done public speaking or anything so to hear him speak to and encourage all those children today was such a break through. Our theme was “you are able”. Self esteem in this culture is a real issue for many children. They don’t have any… pretty much… sad but true. So we wanted to emphasize to them that they are able to do whatever they have in mind to do with their lives. I’m in charge of the drama area of the internship so when we do assemblies I get the kids involved with whatever skits we are doing… I pull them out of the audience and they just love it! So today we did David and Goliath. John played Goliath and we pulled kids out to be the Philistines and the Israelites. It was hilarious! It was so fun… We taught them how to act it out and they had to do it front of all of their classes. It was so good… it was a priceless experience.

The most amazing people Ive ever met

2006-02-10T13:32:00.000-08:00

Ok, I may get over this tomorrow, but tonight Im seriously dumbfounded at the people surrounding me. To the left is my brother from another mother... Peter Street... Marys hunk of love and the coolest white African you'll ever meet. To the right of him is Ngomi... he's a cool guy too. He's a mixed German Tanzanian! They do exist! :)

So theres this place called the coffee shop where white people usually hang out right? of course! We all congregate together!!! So tonight was a showcase of all the local musicians in our area and it was kinda boring for the most part.. alot of slow music and sad music... not that exciting... but the whole reason our team went was because Scotts area of ministry is to reach out to the internationals in their 20s. So we figured tonight would be a great oppurtunity to get to know people and make friedns and then eventually get them to come to our international fellowship. It's going to be like a bible study/hangout for young adults seeking to go a bit deeper.

So of course the people on our list not on the team are Lis from fule (already a missionary), Zimon (i.s.m alumni... saved andseeking to get closer??? im not sure) Ngomi (the same as Zimon) and Ross (awesome fire ball for the Lord from Scotalnd in med school working at KCMC hospital. Totally on the J-train. Awesome accent) So besides these people we wanted to mingle and meet more people. Heres how amzing our night was.

The team ended up hangin out in the lobby of the coffee shope with Ngomi and his friend Kris. She's from Ethipia... born and raised and shes a blonde haired blue eyed adventuresome little thing just in town this week to climb Kili. Shes awesome... Her parents started out as Swedish missionaries in Ethiopia.. moved the fam to the states for 4 years... back to Ethiopia and now the live in Dar es Salaam... the capital of Tanzania. Shes 20 like me and guess how many languages she speaks? 2? nope..... 3... nope... yes its 4. I didnt realize the human brain had that kind of capacity to FLUENTLY communicate in 4 difficult languages.. she speaks english like shes form America and thas only her 2nd language. The language spoken at home is Swedish and Norwegen and she grew up in Ethiopia so she has some hameric under her belt. Crazy! She was an awesome girl... I asked her if she blogs which she does but its all in Norwegic??? If thats how u spell it... :P I met this awesome basketball player named Dani whos also a musician... he was so nice! Hes also mixed.. german and Tanzanian... that seems to be the local combination around here... there are ton of Germans... craziness! Zimon speaks fluent English, German and Swahili! Ahh! how do the do this?

Ive decided that if these average people my age can gorw up being so vibrant, diverse, cultured and intelligent, my children can be too! Tonight even at the coffee shop watching these little blonde haired kids whove been raised in Tanzanian running around with their english accents and fluent Swahili capabilities! It makes me so crazy! Im jealous! I can barely hold it up in espanol and I live in freking California! So yes, Ive made an executive decision with myself to raise my kids up to be brillliant, diverse, and cultured.. well, me and Nicky are all those things but we only speak two languages. English and Ebonics... and ebonics dont even count.... lol.

Im so blessed to meet people like this. They make me wanna be smarter! When I go home and learning swahili and spanish! Dang! I got a long way to go! I shoulda started as a child! Oh well, it will only make me stronger...

Thankyou

2006-02-09T12:00:00.001-08:00

Thanks mom and dad for letting me be me and never doubting Gods will for my life. Thanks for showering me with love and affection and gifts (defnitly one o my love languages). Thanks for being proud of me and bragging about me and always providing help and resources when Ive strived for things in ministry. Thanks mom for never becoming inpatient with me while I complained about the church and religion and pastors and life. Thanks fo always speaking truth and keeping it real. Thanks dad for spending countless hours on my music endeavors... starting from age 11 you always made it happen. Thanks for driving us everywhere and giving us money. And thanks for all the future momenya nd transportaion you will be providing in the near future. :) Thanks little Nicky for being so mean to me. Its made me tough. I love you little brother, but we're gonna have to work on our love languages. The folks around here dont think too highly of my self-proclaimed language known as "words of discourag ment and verbal abuse". We gotta speak life family! Not just Nicky, all of us... who will break the cycle?

All of my family: they have inspired me to do this. The constant emails, notes, support... Gram: the tears you shed in prayer for me... Dee! Honey! I love you... everyone... I couldnt be so passionate and excited about doing adventurous phenomenal things with my life if I didnt have such a strong spiritual suport from my family. God... why did u bless me with such an amazing family? From my grandma Rach to my 2nd step cousins and all inbetween... :)

Thanks Sarah, Alex and Mayra for loving me and taking care of all my social needs. LOL... I love these people... I talk about them constsntly! To my girls especially for tolerting all girly things at all girly times. You guys complete me. Thanks B for training me and building me up like iron sharpens iron. Same with Cathlina and John Magrock. You guys are amazing. Thankyou to both Joshs.. Shepherd; you are a phenomenal man... I hope and pray God brings you into an incredible place of joy and peace and love... Short; keep on seeking and you will find what your looking for... actually, both of those shout outs go for both Joshs so both of you take them to heart. :)

Mary Navarro is one of the most amazing women I have ever known... next to my mom. Why did it take me all these years to figure that out? I've gained a true sister during m stay here! Ive never had a roommate and Im glad the first one was her... never a dull moment. :) Ive learned to never settle for anything less than Gods best... shes taught me to take life and all its blows with a good attitude. Pouting wont make it any better. Dennae and Rebecca are also amazing women. My friendships with them will last a lifetime. Ill always have a home to stay at in Phoenix and Pennsylvania! And they will in Nor Cal! whoop whoop! From them I have learned that life is way to short to spend these precious years in our 20s being aimless. Travel. Explore. Discover Gods awesome love through his awesome creations. Hike the mountains. Swim in lakes rivers and oceans. Run in the daylight... laugh at night. Play cards... Use your words to build others up (Scotts helped with that one too) love being a lady... love other ladies... dont call other women mud ducks (eh hem.. huse!). We are one, we need to stick together. Be captivating. My Lis! I've never met such a cool Indianian... ??? LOL. My girl! This woman is here on the field as a single lady pursuing the call... reaching out to this generation. I've learned from this awesome woman of God and have had so much fun in the process... we even went on a girls night out tonight and God totally used her to speak into my life on eveything from boys to the mission feild... who says 22 year old women don't know what they're doing? LOL... she's another lifer... you're all stuck with me now! :P

Heather and Jill; you guys suck at Nerts!!! LOL...Ive learned alot about holiness and righteousness from these two women. They have a permanent place in my heart. All these women have adopted me as their spritual little sis in a sense. So have John West and Scott Whosdahoe... You guys are so mean... I know its only because ur speaking my love language. Same with you Chris....tian :) My life was not complete until I befriended Peter Street! An incredible White African... These guys have all been excellent examples of godly men. Ive totally raised my standards on guys since Ive met them and seen with my own honey brown eyes that awesome men of God in thier 20s do exist... (hey you know who you are... don't let that get to your head! i love you as a BROTHER and nothing more! i dont care if you fold clothes like a woman and show all 48 teeth when you smile...) Of course Ive seen the few at home... Magrock, Gonzalez... and thats about it... lol.

The lessons of character ive learned from all of these people have challenged me to be a better person... that sounds super cliche but everday I learn something new about how to refine myself. Fine tuning Meaghan to make her a more incredible daughter of the king. Of course only God can make me more incredible than I already am :) but it does take effort on my behalf to humble myslef and be corrected, instructed and flexible. Im learning so much about melding with other personalit types... God bless the C melancholys... merciful ones you are.

I write this as if I were signing a yearbook but today I really felt the need to count my blessing on the blog... I am probably one of the most privelaged undeserving people I know. God has blessed me immensely with these incredible new friends... my family and my support. Every email, comment on myspace and all that jazz has kept me motivted and excited about what I'm doing. I hear it all the time how I am an "inspiration". I am nothing without Jesus. He gives me the excitement and passion to go and be something more than a statistic. The same God who ordained all these things before me has wonderful plans for your lives as well. Walking in light friends... something else that sounds really cliche but its totally correct...walking in this truth has led me to so many beautiful and amazing mornings and has put me to rest on so many peaceful, joyful nights. I love my life.

So what about you? Are you surrounding yourself with individuals that are rubbing off on you to become even more of a blessing to the world around you? I really hope so ... pray for those who bless you, and even those who don't... life's so much sweeter that way. :)

So much love to all of you...

This is My LIFE

2006-02-08T03:38:00.000-08:00

Nehemiah 8:10

Nehemiah said, "Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is sacred to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength."